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A plan for stay-home dads
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February 9, 2000: 6:23 a.m. ET
Give up your corner office for diapers, but don't forget your IRA
By Staff Writer Martine Costello
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NEW YORK (CNNfn) - When Curtis Cooper's wife landed a great job as director of marketing for a household products company in St. Paul, Minn., it seemed too good an opportunity to pass up.
So he and his wife moved their family to Minnesota from Atlanta, and Cooper traded his job as an assistant buyer for Athlete's Foot for diapers and playgroup.
"The decision was made when her job had more potential," Cooper said. "We didn't want to go the day care route."
Financial pros say it's crucial to have a good long-term investing plan when either spouse stops working. But for traditionalist men who are used to being a breadwinner, good preparation will make the transition to stay-at-home dad easier.
 There are probably about 150,000 to 250,000 men raising kids at home, according to Jay Massay, founder of slowlane.com, a Web site for fathers who are raising kids at home.
"A lot of women are in power positions earning $70,000-plus a year," Massay said. "The dynamic is really changing."
Massay decided to stay home because his wife, a psychologist, got pregnant right after she graduated.
She was at the start of a promising career, with school loans to pay off. He was starting a new Web design business. "She had guaranteed income," Massay said.
Tender egos and insurance
Any spouse, male or female, should make sure they have an individual retirement account of their own if they are taking care of the kids at home, said Karl Graf, a certified financial planner of Graf Financial Advisors in New Jersey.
It also helps to have a separate savings account and investing account, even if the working spouse is providing the cash, to give the stay-at-home parent a sense of independence, Graf said.
"There's a feeling of dependency that's uncomfortable," Graf said. "I would imagine for a stay-at-home dad it's even more so."
A separate nest egg will protect you in case of a separation or divorce, Graf said.
And you might want to consider a life insurance policy to replace what it would cost to run the house and pay for childcare in the event the stay-at-home parent dies, Graf said.
"Another factor is maybe the wife would want to step off the fast track if the stay-at-home dad dies," Graf said. "Obviously that would be a loss of income for her, too. So insurance could help make up the difference."
"One guy said, 'I have a hard time buying my wife roses when it's her money.' "
-- Peter Baylies
Peter Baylies, author of the At Home Dad newsletter, said some men find it a threat to their masculinity to take money from their wives. He also runs At Home Network, a group that helps dads start playgroups around the country.
"One guy said, 'I have a hard time buying my wife roses when it's her money,' "Baylies said.
But Baylies hasn't had a hard time accepting life at home. He credits good planning.
A computer software programmer, Baylies lost his job at Digital Equipment when the company was laying off hundreds of workers in the early 1990s. He knew the pink slip was coming, so he and his wife had time to prepare a plan.
"The transition wasn't to bad for me," Baylies said. "My wife and I have a joint account and it's not an issue at all."
Baylies' wife, a schoolteacher, contributes $2,000 for both his and her IRA plans.
A lot of fathers also find it helpful to have a part-time job while they're home with their children. That way, they can keep developing professionally and earn a little money for themselves while they're juggling grocery shopping and laundry.
Many fathers go back to work when their kids get into first grade, Baylies said.
"A lot of dads may do consulting work, or Web design, or do online trading," Baylies said. "Even if it's five hours a week, it really helps."
Baylies has also found that he's saved the amount of his salary at Digital by taking on home repairs and other household tasks himself.
"A lot of guys save more money than they might realize when they're not working," Baylies said.
Cooper, who moved with his family to Minnesota, said the biggest thing is for families to stay within a budget when a parent stops working. His wife is director of marketing at Ecolab (ECL: Research, Estimates).
"We pay off our credit cards every month," Cooper said.
And, without an outside job consuming his time, Cooper is waiting when the bus drops his kids off in the afternoon.
"Our kids are the priority now," Cooper said. 
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slowlane.com
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