NEW YORK (CNN/Money) - Love may be all you need, but money sure helps.

Sooner or later, most married couples face serious financial challenges, from debt-related disputes to fertility fees and college costs. In this series of stories, MONEY magazine explores the issues and offers advice on some of your most pressing concerns.

Do I need a prenup before I remarry?

To marry or not to marry?

What's the cost of divorce?

Fertility and adoption costs

How much does it cost to raise a child?

How much should I pay a baby-sitter?

Should spouses have separate financial accounts?

What is the best way to save for college?

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Conventional wisdom says that prenuptial agreements, by their very nature, imply ambivalence toward marriage: At least one spouse isn't really willing to commit. When it comes to second marriages, though, we think that stigma should be resisted. In a second marriage, the complications of the "yours, mine and ours" syndrome of blended families (which includes both children and assets) can generate tensions that just weren't there while you were courting. (It's one reason that remarriages have even worse survival stats than first marriages.)

Whether you're inclined toward a prenup or not, you should discuss what you'll share freely and what assets you've reserved for yourself and for your children. Being open and honest about your financial concerns and plans for your assets is critical at this stage. You should share tax returns and complete financial statements. Remember that in most states, if you don't have a prenup or postnup--or a signed written agreement that clearly outlines what is not community property--the surviving spouse has the right to a fixed share of the estate without regard to the will, says New York City estate-planning attorney Myron Kove.

And don't forget to write in a sunset clause: If you have children together or remain married into old age, you both may be ready to make your financial relationship as unconditional as your emotional one. Definitely leave that door open. back to list of questions

Shacking up is no longer a precursor of wedding bells; it's now a lifelong alternative to marriage. Over the past decade, the number of unmarried couples living together grew 72 percent to 5.5 million couples, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. Here are the financial pluses and minuses of both arrangements.

IF YOU GET MARRIED, YOU...

• Are eligible for spousal employee benefits--including health insurance
• May qualify for lower car insurance rates
• Can file negligence or malpractice suits if your spouse is hurt or disabled
• Will not have to pay estate taxes on inheritance from your spouse
• Will probably qualify for your deceased spouse's pension or Social Security benefits
• Must pay the marriage income tax penalty (to be phased out by 2009)
• May have to pay the high costs of divorce if you break up
• Will receive a lower Social Security benefit (in a dual-income marriage)
• May not be eligible to continue receiving pension or Social Security benefits of your deceased previous spouse

IF YOU LIVE TOGETHER, YOU...

• Will not have to pay marriage income tax penalty
• Can skirt the legal entanglements of divorce
• Will continue receiving pension and Social Security benefits of deceased previous spouse
• May not be eligible for spousal employee benefits
• Will not be automatically named guardian of your partner's kid, if your partner should die
• Do not have automatic visitation rights to see your partner in intensive or critical care units of hospitals
• Will have to pay estate taxes if the estate you inherit from your deceased partner is worth more than $1,000,000 (in 2002) back to list of questions

Court and legal expenses (both parties): $20,000

Divorce lawyer: $225[1]

Mediated divorce: $1,800

Do-it-yourself divorce kit: $29.95

Law guardian for children: $150 to $300[1]

Forensic psychologist fee to evaluate family life: $2,000 to $5,000

Forensic accountant fee to locate assets: $10,000

Public relations firm for high-profile divorce: $10,000 a month

Note: [1]Hourly fee. Source: MONEY estimates. back to list of questions

Treating infertility is common, but it's still not cheap. In most cases, insurance companies won't reimburse you. Currently, only a dozen or so states require insurers to offer some form of coverage. The other option, of course, is adoption. But be forewarned: This isn't cheap, either, and it certainly isn't easy. A shortage of babies in the U.S. has prompted many would-be parents to go abroad, creating a new set of risks. Often, these parents must do their own digging to uncover possible health problems, such as fetal alcohol syndrome, in babies they want to adopt. Below are fees and issues to consider for both options.

Fertility treatments

PROCEDURE: Artificial insemination

WHAT'S INVOLVED: Sperm--the father's or a donor's--is deposited at the cervix or in the uterus.

COST: $200 to $700

PROCEDURE: In vitro fertilization (IVF)

WHAT'S INVOLVED: Eggs are surgically removed and mixed with sperm in a petri dish. If fertilization occurs, the embryos are then implanted in the uterus. You'll also probably take fertility drugs (see below).

COST: $7,000 to $10,000[1]

PROCEDURE: Fertility drugs

WHAT'S INVOLVED: You may need a medicine cabinet full of pills and injectable drugs to enhance fertility.

COST: $1,000 to $4,000 per cycle

Fertility notes: [1]Costs are per procedure and do not include fertility drugs. Use of donor eggs roughly doubles the cost of each procedure. Fertility sources: American Society for Reproductive Medicine, MONEY research, Resolve. Adoption notes: [1]Based on governmental analysis of visas issued to foreign orphans in fiscal 2000. [2]Does not include travel costs. Number of trips required and length of stay vary widely from country to country. Adoption sources: MONEY research, National Adoption Information Clearinghouse, U.S. Department of State.

Adoption

TYPE OF ADOPTION: U.S. public agency

WHAT'S INVOLVED Public agencies place foster-care kids; most have special needs. You can often get governmental reimbursement of the up-front costs up to a limit of $2,000.

COST: Zero to $2,500

TYPE OF ADOPTION U.S. private agency

WHAT'S INVOLVED: Licensed private agencies offer adoptions for a fee; some agencies charge fees on a sliding scale based on income. What's covered: birth-parent counseling, adoptive-parent home study program.

COST: $4,000 to $30,000

TYPE OF ADOPTION: U.S. independent

WHAT'S INVOLVED: Independent adoptions are now allowed in most states, though advertising for birth parents is not permitted by all. The biggest risk? In some cases, adoptive parents have paid expenses for birth mothers who change their minds--and the would-be parents have never gotten their money back.

COST: $1,000 to $50,000

TYPE OF ADOPTION: Overseas Top countries of origin: China, Russia, South Korea, Guatemala, Romania, Vietnam, Ukraine, India, Cambodia and Kazakhstan[1]

WHAT'S INVOLVED: Whatever country you choose, you'll face a lot of paperwork to certify that the child is a legal orphan and has been approved for an IR-3 or IR-4 visa. Prospective parents typically must travel to the child's birth country (sometimes more than once) to do the paperwork and escort the child here. Fees and waiting times can vary. Check with the State Department for up-to-date advisories.

COST: $8,000 to $30,000

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Probably more than you think. Depending on income, U.S. families can expect to spend several hundred thousand dollars or more by the time a child born in 2000 reaches 17 years old. If you have two children, your average cost per child will drop by 24 percent. Alas, these figures don't include college.

For middle-class families with an average household income of $50,600:

Miscellaneous ($18,510)

Health Care ($11,640)

Clothing ($10,680)

Child Care & Education ($16,560)

Transportation ($24,420)

Food ($28,650)

Housing ($55,170)

TOTAL $165,630

For affluent families with an average household income of $95,800:

Miscellaneous ($30,090)

Health Care ($13,380)

Clothing ($13,770)

Child Care & Education ($26,520)

Transportation ($32,760)

Food ($35,670)

Housing ($89,580)

TOTAL $241,770

Note: Annual household income ranges: $38,000 to $64,000 for middle class; more than $64,000 for the affluent. [1]Includes entertainment, reading materials and personal-care items. Source: Agriculture Department's Expenditures on Children by Families.

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Babysitting rates depend on where you live and how many children need to be cared for. Average rates for day care in a coastal metropolis like Los Angeles run about four times those in a small midwestern city. For a qualified nanny, be prepared to pay from $350 a week in a small town to $700 and up in a big city (plus benefits).

AVERAGE RATES FOR: Austin, Minneapolis, New York City, Santa Monica, Calif.

Day-care center[1]: $109/week, $135/week, $350/week, $480/week

Nanny (full time): $550/week, $575/week, $650/week, $700/week

Nanny (part time): $12/hour, $12/hour, $14/hour, $13/hour

Evening babysitter (18 or older): $12/hour, $10/hour, $13/hour, $12/hour

Evening babysitter (ages 14 to 18): $7/hour, $6/hour, $8/hour, $7/hour

Note: [1]For a preschooler. Source: MONEY research.

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Many married couples approach this question as if it's an either/or proposition. But there are many choices in between. According to money therapist Olivia Mellan, co-author of the new book "Money Shy to Money Sure," you're best off letting your money merger evolve during your marriage, as if it were a relationship of its own, rather than forcing the issue.

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At the beginning of a marriage, Mellan recommends keeping at least some assets separate until you have a true handle on your partner's money habits. You may have married someone who has a problem with debt, who overspends or who's a miser--someone who has different financial habits and priorities than you do. You may want to merge some assets for joint savings, household expenses and an emergency fund, in part so you can get to know each other better in this critical area. The amount each partner contributes should be proportional to assets and income, advises Mellan.

Each partner also needs a credit card in his or her own name. This is simply a practical matter. Half of all first marriages still end in divorce; more than half of subsequent marriages end in divorce. If you find yourself living on your own again, you'll need a credit history to buy a car, purchase a home, rent an apartment and so on.

As your financial relationship with your spouse matures, consider combining more of your assets, opening investment accounts for retirement purposes or your kids' college costs. But that doesn't mean that you have to merge them all, Mellan emphasizes. In fact, 401(k)s and IRAs can't be merged, which offers each spouse the chance for some financial autonomy. Do be sure, though, to coordinate your investing strategies so that you're well diversified. And if one spouse leaves the work force to care for children, that spouse can and should continue to fund his or her own IRA each year.

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For many parents, saving for their children's college education is their No. 1 financial priority. Admirable, yes, but wrong-headed. Your top financial goal should be saving for your own retirement. After all, your child will have other options, such as taking out a student loan or perhaps qualifying for financial aid. But face it, no one is going to give you a loan for your retirement.

That said, if your retirement plan is on track, stick any additional money into a college savings plan, pronto. The good news is that starting this year, the new tax rules provide improved tax breaks for college savers. The Coverdell Education Savings Account (formerly called the Education IRA) now allows investors to stash $2,000 annually vs. just $500 previously. Eligibility for these accounts has also expanded to include married couples with adjusted gross incomes of up to $220,000. Another big break: Savers in state-sponsored 529 savings plans are now able to make federal tax-free withdrawals for qualified college expenses. You can even contribute to your Education IRA and 529 plan in the same year. (Although the tax rules are set to expire in 2011, most financial advisers expect Congress to extend the education tax breaks.)

Which savings option should you choose? The right strategy depends on several factors: your tax bracket, the investment flexibility that you require and the amount you have to save. You should also consider the likelihood that you will qualify for financial aid. Be aware that colleges are increasingly taking education savings into account when calculating a family's need for grants or loans.

Families in the 30 percent federal tax bracket or above, for instance, are unlikely to receive much aid, points out Raymond Loewe, a financial planner with College Money in Marlton, N.J. These families are therefore good candidates for 529 savings plans, which typically allow anyone to put away several thousand dollars a year on behalf of any beneficiary; there are no income limits. In many states, you may also receive a state tax deduction on contributions to a 529 or an exemption on withdrawals (which can also make these plans worthwhile for residents in lower brackets). The state plans differ widely, however, so check carefully before you invest: Read "The 529 Solution" or www.savingforcollege.com.

But 529s aren't for everyone. The money must be used for qualified education expenses only (otherwise you will face taxes and penalties on withdrawal), and you have little control over your investments. Once you pick a fund, you have to stick with it for at least a year, and can switch out only by transferring to another state's plan. Also, money withdrawn from a 529 could reduce the amount of financial aid you might otherwise receive (which is why 529s are best for families that aren't counting on aid).

If you prefer more control over your investments, and you meet the income limits, you may be better off with a Coverdell ESA. You can choose from just about any funds or stocks, and you face few limits on switches. Another advantage: You can use the money for elementary and secondary school costs, not just for college. (However, deploying those assets early in your child's life will leave less in the account when college bills roll in.)

For those in lower tax brackets--as well as those who figure they might need to tap their college savings in an emergency--there's always a regular taxable investment account. Buy-and-hold investors who qualify for long-term capital-gains treatment can come close to matching the returns of a tax-advantaged plan.

Other savings methods look much less attractive under the new tax rules. There's little reason to consider a Roth IRA for college savings, for example, since earnings withdrawn for education payments will be taxed unless you have invested for at least five years and you have turned 59-1/2. (The 10 percent penalty will be waived for higher education expenses.) You're better off with the Coverdell ESA. As for putting money in your kid's name in an UGMA/UTMA account, forget it. The tax breaks are minimal, and you lose control of the money. Opt instead for a 529 plan, which offers superior tax advantages, while allowing you to remain the owner of the account.

Whatever type of savings plan you choose, be sure to gear your investments to the age of your child. Here's one rule of thumb: From birth to age 12, put 80 percent or so of your college portfolio in stocks for maximum growth, with the rest in bonds or cash. At age 12, start trimming your equity allocation by regular amounts each year, transferring the money to cash or short-term bonds. The goal is to have the cash you need by the time your child is 18 and the first tuition bill comes due. This way a sudden market collapse, like the one we just experienced, won't derail your child's college plans.

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