NEW YORK (CNN/Money) - Now that Queen Elizabeth II has decided to knight Alan Greenspan, does he get to wear armor? Maybe carry a sword?

He needs something out of the deal. Because other than a chuckle, he doesn't seem to be getting much. Americans can attain only a sort of second-class knighthood, so the Fed chairman won't be called "sir." That's a shame. Imagine the fun at congressional hearings.

"About the latest economic data, Mr. Greenspan, ..."

"Sir Alan, if you please, Congressman ..."

But all knighthood confers upon Greenspan is the right to put "KBE" after his name. If you are going to be a Knight of the British Empire, you should at least get some armor and a sword.

They could come in handy. Greenspan's critics -- yes, there are some -- are becoming more vocal. In the grand American tradition of Monday Morning quarterbacking, some say he and his Fed cronies let the economy reach its currently sorry state by mismanaging the investment bubble that popped two years ago.

Off with their heads. Would you have wanted the Fed raining on your bull-market parade?

Without the armor and sword, though, Greenspan's knighthood could just make him look like a pinky-raised, tea-drinking aristocrat out of touch with the common man.

Which is why this knighthood thing is badly timed. Our current economic problems are Greenspan's last test. (He's 76.) Giving him the knighthood now is awarding the trophy before he has finished the race. It is also pretty presumptuous of the British. Sure, their economy may cringe in his shadow as well, but he is OUR red-blooded American bank chief. Are they trying to cherry-pick?

Appearances can mean a lot. And the timing of this knighthood just looks bad.

It's the second bad timing issue to pop up this week.

Jack Grubman, the Salomon Smith Barney cheerleader analyst in the middle of the WorldCom scandal, suffers from bad timing too. A $100,000 donation to the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee two days before a high-profile Senate committee hearing into WorldCom's troubles? C'mon, we know what was going on. Yes, he got a grilling at the hearing, but think about how much worse it would have been if he hadn't greased the majority party's hand.

Of course, Grubman has every right to donate money. And senators need to be able to raise cash for campaigns. The big problem is that people should know about the relationships while events are taking place. Not weeks later.

Maybe a knight thing would help here too. In days of yore, knights going into jousts or battles wore tokens of the maidens or nobles they were fighting for. Perhaps our elected officials could institute something similar.

More yore? Click my helm.

You know, wear coats like the guys in the Chicago commodity pits. Those brightly colored frocks signify their trading house. In the political case, it could signify the party. And patches could be added identifying the major contributors.

Yes, it would take away some of the dignity that currently wraps Capitol Hill. And given their penchant for taking money from anyone, some politicians would end up decked out like jesters.

Suitable, huh?  

Allen Wastler, not KBE, is Managing Editor of CNN/Money and a correspondent for CNNfn. He can be e-mailed here.