NEW YORK (CNN/Money) - Shhhhh ... I have this embarrassing secret. I'm carrying a gas mask in my backpack. Don't tell anyone, OK?

It's embarrassing for two reasons.

The first made itself apparent the other day when I went over to the CNN studios for my usual TV schtick. They've stepped up security lately, so the guard is looking into everyone's bag.

"That a gas mask?" he asked.

"Well, yeah."

He looked at me and raised his eyebrows in the typical "You believe in crop circles AND Atlantis" way and clucked a little.

See? It's embarrassing to be considered paranoid. Sure, Sept. 11 was a surprise and put everyone into a different frame of mind ... but jeez, carrying a gas mask? New York is scary, but it ain't Tel Aviv.

Still, it's a little intimidating out there. Let your imagination run amok a couple times in a crowded, underground train station. If you think getting to the exit during rush hour is a pain, try throwing a little panic and confusion into the mix. Then think of sarin gas in a Japanese subway and, more recently, the fire bomb in South Korea.

So I clutch my little gas mask and think, maybe, I have some measure of safety. Of course, this is exactly what the folks putting up the survival gear at various Web sites (getmasks.com, stayin-alive.com, etc.) are hoping I -- and many others -- will think.

More fantasy. Click me

Which brings me to the second reason for embarrassment. I'm willing to spend $20 on a gas mask (Russian-made with admittedly iffy specs), but I'm not doing some of the bigger things necessary for a safe and secure life? You know, things like checking my credit reports once a year, writing a will, re-evaluating my 401(k) allocations. Sure, I do my fair share of personal finance chores, but it's spotty and inconsistent. Yet, in the grand scheme of things, the probability is those efforts would do a lot more for my well-being than the gas mask.

But we avoid such tasks because they are time-consuming and, well, depressing. Going over retirement plans means you'll get old. Insurance and estate planning? You're talking death. But when you grab the old gas mask ... or buy the plastic and duct tape ... aren't you really confronting the same issues?

Like many Americans watching the war cruise missile by cruise missile, we are obsessing on the small things and missing the big things.

As penance for carrying a gas mask, I'm pledging to address the bigger issues in my life as well. And as for the guard who thinks I'm paranoid ... well, HE'S the one looking in everybody's bag, isn't he?  

Allen Wastler is Managing Editor of CNN/Money and a commentator on CNNfn. He can be e-mailed here.