NEW YORK (CNN/Money) - Marriage vows don't always last forever, even if those 35 years of matrimony sure seemed like it.

More and more couples are calling it quits near, and during, retirement and experts say this trend hasn't shown any signs of abating. Problem is, many of those former twosomes haven't factored the impact a big "D" will have on their nest egg.

"There is absolutely no question couples are far better off than non-married individuals," says Sara Rix, a senior policy advisor for the AARP. "Among the worst off in retirement are divorced and separated women."

Like it or not, women still earn less than men. They also take more time out of the workforce, lessening their overall lifetime earnings and social security contributions.

Social security payments are based on a worker's best 35 years of earnings, so there is some leeway for taking time off. If, however, your total work history falls short of that mark the government will add in a zero to make up the difference and that will certainly drag your average lower.

These are things that you should keep in mind when splitting up your assets if you expect to maintain at least some semblance of your current lifestyle. Experts advise women to first ask themselves how much money they need to live on prior to and during retirement before forgoing a piece of his pension or 401(k) in favor of the house.

"Women are sometimes so emotionally attached to the house that they cannot see the financial pros and cons of it," says Carol Ann Wilson, a certified financial planner and president of the Financial Divorce Association.

Holding on to the family home may be a definite pro, but if the mortgage payments or cost of upkeep puts you in the red it could be time to pack up those memories and move 'em to a smaller home.

In most states, the assets you accrue during marriage -- whether they are under your name or his -- is automatically marital property. Step number two, then, is to calculate the value of your assets, including any savings and retirement plans, and to take the appropriate measures to preserve them.

"Make sure any savings, 401(k)s, all the relevant places are notified," says Deborah Chalfie, senior counsel at the National Women's Law Center.

"Put them on notice so that money can't disappear," she reiterated.

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A Qualified Domestic Relations Order, or QDRO, is normally issued pursuant to a divorce and tells the pension or 401(k) plan administrator how the money is to be split. Wilson says that not all plans allow QDROs and strongly advises women to talk to a financial planner or attorney to work out the details of their particular situation.

Wilson also notes that women may be able to withdraw money from their former spouse's qualified retirement savings plan before age 59-1/2 without incurring that 10 percent penalty thanks to a new tax code provision, 72(t)(2)(C). While there's no penalty on the money, you will have to pay taxes on it, about 20 percent, so it may also be wiser for you to roll the money over to your own IRA unless you are facing an immediate cash crunch.

Women married 10 years or longer can also collect a portion of their ex-husband's social security, which in many cases is higher than their own. At your time of retirement you are entitled to 50 percent of your ex-husband's earnings until he dies, at which point you will get the full 100 percent. This will not affect his social security benefits or that of a new Mrs.

If you're not working or are only employed part-time, you may want to start looking for full-time work. Now.

Chalfie advises women looking to re-enter the workforce full-time and who are near retirement age to direct their energies to finding a job that provides good retirement benefits. So if the decision comes down to choosing a job that offers three weeks of vacation and a 0.25 percent 401(k) match or one that offers two weeks of time off and a 1 percent match, well working an extra week would be well worth that more generous payout.

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The government also allows those 50 or older to make catch-up contributions to their retirement plans. Individual taxpayers can contribute a maximum of $13,000 to their 401(k) and $3,000 to a Roth IRA, but if you are 50 or older you can contribute an extra $3,000 to your 401(k) and another $500 to your IRA. The catch-up limits for 401(k) plays will increase to $4,000 in 2005, but IRA limits will stay the same.

You'll also want to rework your will and change the primary beneficiary of any insurance policies if your spouse stands to inherit the bulk of your estate. You may want to consult with a financial planner who specializes in divorce before making any drastic moves. Visit the Financial Divorce Association, Association of Divorce Financial Planners, or the Institute for Divorce Financial Analysts for a listing of financial planners in your area.

Being on your own again may be scary, but it can also be fun. Just remember that you can rebuild your life, and possibly create a better one, by taking control of your finances.