NEW YORK (CNN/Money) -
Ah, it's a heady life for us gazillionares...
Champagne wishes? Caviar dreams? Bah, those are best left for pedestrian billionaires. Those of us who are truly, obscenely rich prefer the finer things in life – guzzling 1787 Chateau Lafite, renting out Aspen for some private skiing, scheduling scandalous weekends with Angie Harmon.
We do love our video games, though. And with the holidays here, I've started to put together my wish list.
While I certainly admire things like the $1,200 Kilowatt gaming system, it just doesn't seem garish enough for my tastes. If you're going to be a gaming bling king, it's going to take more than that.
So, on the off chance you were planning to get me anything this year, here are a few things I could really use.
Wood Contour Keyboard/Mouse/Monitor
If you're just planning to go with a stocking stuffer, here's a great choice. I mean, let's face it, everybody has a plastic keyboard, mouse and monitor frame. Where's the fun in that? Me? I'm thinking that peripherals made of cherry, mahogany or sycamore wood might suit my lifestyle a bit better.
I've always been a back-to-nature kind of guy, after all. But with WoodContour.com's hand-made customized peripherals, I no longer have to trek to my mountain cabin for a taste of the wild. I just have to plop down in my chair and check my e-mail. No poison ivy, no rabid squirrels. Perfect! And the three-piece set is a mere $8,950. Pocket change!
Now some might feel that's a bit much to pay for a stocking stuffer. If so, please feel free to consider WoodContour's stone line, which presents monitors, keyboards and mice made from the same Corian material you'll find in many kitchen countertops. Those are just $8,100.
Of course, there's nothing like a good massage. And I can't think of a better time to get one than while I'm trying to maintain control of a souped-up motor bike. Plenty of games claim to be immersive, but how many can whip you around at a force of 2 Gs?
Ballistics will. This racing simulator puts me at the controls of a futuristic speeder, with the system tilting back and forth to reproduce what that ride would really be like. And, since you essentially lie horizontal to play, the vibrations of the engine against your back may work out some kinks. (Granted, it's no match for Inge, my on-staff masseuse, but what can you do?)
I must confess: This is as much keeping up with the Joneses for me as it is a gaming desire. Ever since comedian Bernie Mac had one of these brought into his basement, I've been green with envy.
I figure it's worth $10,500 to get over that.
Morphis ESP Motion Simulator
Like 'N Sync's Lance Bass, I was unfairly forced out of the Russian space program. So, while I work on building my own private rocketship (at my mountaintop compound), I need to prepare for the ride. Morphis' motion simulator seems like the perfect way to do so.
With a library of nearly 100 different 3D adventures (most sold separately), I'll not only be able to prepare for my extraterrestrial journeys, I'll also be able to experience any number of sporting or adventure simulations. And, as my way of saying thanks, I'll let you and five of your friends come over to try it out. (It seats eight, but I've got to save room for Angie.)
Here's the bad news, though... FAO Schwartz, which sells the ESP for a piddling $300,000, won't gift wrap it for you – so you're going to need to schedule some extra time to do that.
In my 2003 wish list, you might recall, I was smitten with the L Store's 92" Grand Canyon monitor. Boy was I naïve.
This year, it's the 200" Athens Monitor that has captured my heart!
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I mean, seriously, what hardcore PC gamer worth his or her weight wouldn't get a little weak in the knees when presented with a 5.5 yard wide display? Add in its 16 million color capacity and 6400x768 resolution and it's even harder to refuse.
Unfortunately, it looks like this one will have to remain on my wish list. The L Store has apparently gone out of business. I suspect it didn't sell enough of those $17,500 Grand Canyons last year. Ah well, there go my dreams of an Imax-sized monitor in the near future...
Granted, some folks might consider these gift ideas to be a bit pricey. But hey, it's the holidays – and the holiday season is about giving, right?
Speaking of which... Angie, give me a call. I'm starting to think you've lost my number.
Morris is Director of Content Development for CNN/Money. Angie Harmon - and others - can click here to send him an e-mail.