NEW YORK (MONEY) -- QUESTION: I'm almost 26 years old and make approximately $30,000 a year. I contribute 8% of each paycheck to my company 401(k) and my employer matches 50 cents on the dollar up to 6% of pay. I have college debt and a car loan, but no credit card debt. I've also got $5,000 in a savings account and am about to receive a $10,000 bonus check. I'm trying to figure out the best way to use this bonus.

I'd like to set up an emergency fund, save for a down payment for a townhouse and I also plan to buy an engagement ring for my soon-to-be fiancé (assuming she says yes). With so many choices, what should I do to get off to a good financial start? -Chris, Orlando, Florida

First, let me assure you that, so far at least, you are off to a good financial start. You're contributing to your 401(k) and taking full advantage of your company match. You've got some bucks socked away in a savings account, and you're not financing your lifestyle with credit card debt.

The fact that you're doing these things tells me you've got a pretty good feel for how to create a nice solid foundation for financial security.

Now, however, you're moving into territory where you won't be the only person calling the shots. When you marry, whether it's this woman or someone else, you're entering a partnership, so to speak, and the success of that union (not just financially) will depend not so much on how you alone make decisions, but how you and your mate work as a team.

And that's not always easy. A recent exclusive survey of 500 husbands and 500 wives done by Matthew Greenwald and Associates for a MONEY special report, "Men, Women + Money," found that it's easy for men and women to get their signals mixed when it comes to finances, and that can result in tensions within a marriage. Indeed, couples are about twice as likely to argue about money as sex, and the leading cause of dissension is disagreement about financial priorities.

So what does all this mean for your particular situation?

Well, you're talking about goals such as buying an engagement ring, saving for a home and setting up an emergency fund, as if they're your goals alone. In fact, if your fiancé accepts your proposal, those goals won't be solely yours. Which is why I think it's important that you get a good sense even before you propose about whether your partner-to-be shares those goals and feels as strongly as you do about working toward them.

I'm not suggesting you sit down your fiancé-to-be and grill her about her attitudes about saving, budgeting and such. That wouldn't be very romantic. But I think it's important that you know before tying the knot how compatible you are not just in matters of the heart, but of the pocketbook as well. That's not to say you've got to agree on every last detail or that you can't have different outlooks on financial priorities. But if you have vastly different views, better to know that ahead of time so that you both feel sure you can bridge any differences.

One goal in particular I think you've somehow got to discuss with your potential mate before popping the question is buying a home. You seem to feel strongly about this. Is this a big priority for her as well? How soon might you want to buy-right after the wedding, within a couple of years, three or more years down the road?

I ask this because this issue relates directly to that $10,000 bonus you've mentioned. On the one hand, you might use a good chunk of that bonus to buy a nice engagement ring. That would certainly get you bonus points for romance.

But maybe your future wife is more interested in getting into a nice home as quickly as possible than having a chunk of diamond on her finger. In that case, it might make more sense to buy an inexpensive engagement ring and save the rest of that bonus for the house down payment. After all, the point of a ring is to serve as a symbol of your love and commitment. It's what you feel inside that gives that symbol its power, not the price tag of the ring.

In any case, I think these are the sorts of issues you and your fiancé-to-be need to broach one way or another. Whether you do that in a serious sit-down or you take on these topics a little at a time as they arise in the course of regular conversation isn't important. Whatever works for both of you is fine.

But if you want this union to be one that's based on mutual understanding, trust and a real willingness to seek out each other's opinions and feelings on important matters that affect both of you, I think it's a good idea to set the tone early.

So stop thinking of your financial goals in terms of "I." The question now is what "we"-you and your fiancé-to-be-ought to be doing to get off to a good financial start.

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