NEW YORK (Fortune) -- Sing to the tune of California: "Dow 12,000 here we come. Right back where we started from." Okay, it makes no sense. Still I guarantee, much like Patrick Ewing promised a championship for the Knicks, that we will reach Dow 12,000 this week! Today!

UNITEDHEALTH: So William "Show me the Money" McGuire, the CEO of this company is stepping down. And stepping up. Remember this is the dude who reaped a trove of options worth $1.78 billion. Well get this, the dude is quitting as CEO and he is going to reprice his options all to the WORST day of each year! So is he going to lose all of his money? Hardly. He'll probably only peel off less than a hundred mil. What really makes options valuable? If the stock goes up! Have you checked out UNH's stock chart? MAJOR. Stock (Charts) is down, but not out. Change at the top, I like it.

MATTEL: It's beginning to look a lot like a good Christmas for MAT (Charts). Company says Tickle Me Elmo X is hot, Barbie is doing okay, "Cars" toys rumblin'. And then there's the American Girl franchise. It's a total monster. Way eclipsed Barbie as the "it" doll. American Girl is pricey and the margins must be through the roof! Stock not as pricey as you think. Stock's gone nowhere for a decade. I wonder why. Kids still buy toys. Try this one.

OSHKOSH TRUCK: Not to be confused with Osh Kosh B'gosh. (Lot of stuff going down in Wisconsin.) OSK is buying JLG (Charts), which makes booms, for $3.2 billion in cash. Osh Truck (Charts) is bigger than you think; market cap of $4 billion and the stock has been a grower. But lately it's turned a bit dicey and pricey. Keep on truckin', yes, but I think the this is the wrong part of the cycle to roll with this one.

LOOSE CHANGE: So more readers think I should go to Government Mule than James Taylor. Hmmm..... Next question: Have you, or would you, take kids to Hooters??? Let me know..... And from Ashley: "Finally saw the Departed last weekend after trying 3 different theatres with sold out shows. It was so worth it. Amazing cast, amazing plot, amazing ending (even my undying love for Matt Damon wouldn't change it), and never has cursing been so funny! (You'll have to see it to get that.) Its one of those movies where everyone in the theater claps when the credits roll..."

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E-mail Andy Serwer at serwer@fortunemail.com and see him on CNN's "In the Money" and "American Morning."

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