Stanley Bing

Ask Bing: Help! I sit with a nose-picker!

What this guy is doing is really an act of aggression against his fellow-workers. Steps must be taken. Take them.

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Stanley Bing

You might be my last hope for sanity to address a completely insane workplace dilemma!! I work as a contractual employee in an open room with approximately other 60 individuals. There are numerous tables in the room with two computers sitting on each table. The tables are in rows, which are no more than approximately 20 inches apart. Not that it makes any difference, but everyone occupying a computer has earned at least a Doctorate Degree. I'm just trying to provide a full picture.

Here's my dilemma... The guy sitting next to me (who sits approximately 14 inches away) is a CHRONIC nose picker. When I say, "Chronic", I am not exaggerating. It is a 10 hour non stop pickfest from the early morning hours until the time he goes home. In addition to the picking, there's the disgusting after effect of flicking, stashing and dare I add...eating. I'm afraid to leave my desk unless someone else is nearby to stand guard and make sure that he doesn't stash his nose remnants anywhere near my work space. It is very difficult for me to work next to him and I'm at my wits end. Both the gentleman who sits to his left and I are REPULSED.

Although I have kept my same hours (which gives me at least 10 fun hours of pickin), the gentleman to the Picker's right now starts his day at 2pm so that he can have a few "pick free" hours after Picky leaves for the night. We're both burning the midnight oil just to pay the rent and avoid the nastiness. I am at my wits end as to how to handle this situation without becoming "That Girl" at the office who just can't work with others...but it is SOOOO disgusting and disturbing. Stares of repulsion, banging to distract him, loud sighs, etc are tried...but nothing slows him down. I'm almost sitting on my other co worker to my left's lap at this point to get away from the Picker. The fingers, hands and arms just keep on going. I am shocked that he hasn't hurt himself up there.

Can you PLEASE PLEASE help me and my co worker. We need advice on how to handle this sticky situation (no pun intended) short of taping Picker's hands together (which we obviously can't do) or putting up a No Pick Zone sign near our computers. It is literally a non stop assault to his nose and my nerves. I'm frazzled. In advance, please know that changing our seats is not an option.

You see how extensive a letter somebody can write about nose picking? I have left it in its unedited state simply because it is among the most powerful and trenchant descriptions of cubicle life I have ever encountered. I hate cubicles. I think they're demeaning and inhuman. I believe everybody should have a door. Those who do not have doors should have partitions. Cubicle farms are rat mazes. This letter shows what happens to people forced to live cheek-by-nose with another human unworthy of the honor of such proximity.

In answer to your question... I have only one idea. I believe you and your co-worker should construct large, sheet rock dividers that put up a wall between you and this disgusting troglodyte. If I have your office layout correctly, there should be an area of maximum exposure between you and him. Get something that blocks your view. Have your colleague do the same. Put a sign on these things that say, "NO PICK ZONE". Perhaps that will work. At least you won't be looking at him. And if Management says that your dividers are against company policy, you and your friend may then go in and tell the boss what's going on. There is very little difference between what he is doing and public masturbation. He can't touch what he really is anxious/excited about, so he touches the only other appendage handy. Perhaps if you present the situation as a form of workplace harassment -- subject to legal action -- the boss will listen.

I have one final idea. Bring a small handycam into the office and make movies of what's going on. The picking. The... other things. Then set up a little screening for the office. Invite everybody. Sure, it's mean and punitive of the demented picker. But what he's doing is an act of aggression against his fellow-workers. Steps must be taken. Take them.

I'm coming up on finishing the first year on the job as a broadcast reporter (business news on both local TV and radio in a big, hot southwestern city) after writing for a weekly paper for four years right out of college. My employer is still the paper. I deliver the news on its behalf. My review is coming up and I'm looking for a raise. The person who had this position before me held it for nine years, and her salary when she left (she told me) was about 10 percent higher than mine is now. When I moved from print to broadcast I got a nice raise...almost 20 percent.

But I feel like the person before me was underpaid, and I'd like at least her old salary. (We're talking figures around 50K, for reference). I have a strong feeling my boss will just offer the cursory 3 percent. Am I greedy for pushing for another big raise, or just going for what I deserve? I haven't said anything to my boss yet, and the review is a few weeks away. How should I approach it?

First of all, no, you are not greedy. Nobody who wants a raise can be said to be greedy unless they are seeking a raise from $10 million to $20 million. People trying to get from $50K to $60K are reasonable and have every right to do whatever is necessary to get there. They are likely to throw percentages at you when you do so, however. "Gee!" they will say. "That's a 20% raise! Nobody gets that in this day and age!" To which you can reply, politely, "Hey, you guys spent more on than that on supplies for the new Xerox machine."

Management has a way to find itself bonuses each year. They have a way of paying for big parties for sales reps. But when it comes to giving a hard-working front-line soldier a $10K raise, they suddenly get all responsible with the fiduciary bushwah.

Look. Faint heart never won fair paycheck. Why not go to your boss NOW, before the review. Tell him that you love working for him and adore the job, the place, all that good stuff. Then tell him that you're starving to death and want to get up to $60K. That's your number. You realize he may not be able to do it right now... but if he could that would be great. If not, that's the number that's in your head as fair. Do NOT, I repeat, do NOT compare yourself to a more highly-paid predecessor.

Believe me, when I get out of my current situation, they will not be paying my successor what I'm making. And they'll be breathing a sigh of relief about it. It's good that you know the higher metric is out there and has been met in the past. But keep that up your sleeve. Do good. Work hard. And keep pushing for that number. What's amazing is that after you get it? Poof! There will be a new number. Get moving before that one pops up and makes the old one obsolete before you get it.

I mr Bing, after 3 year of studie in a canadian university, i en up with no diploma due to a lack of monney. I am back in Cote d' ivoire my contry and i see people less intelligent and ambitious than me having great position. I' am actually living with my mother at age 37 with a 10 year working experiance. How can i value myself in an environnement where only diplomas are valued ?

I'm sorry, my friend, but you need a diploma. The world is full of people who worked a full job during the day and went to school at night to get one. I have other letters from people who have three separate degrees and still can't find work in the field of their choice. There is very little reason to hire somebody with no college degree who is 37 years old and lives with his mother.

I am sorry to sound so brutal, but you need to take a look at yourself in the mirror, decide on some achievable goals, judge who might be helpful in your years of struggle (your mom sounds like one), and then put the hammer down to achieve the things you have set out for yourself. There are a million books out there that proclaim the power of positive thinking, of visualizing success, that sort of drivel. But in every cliché, there is some truth. And the truth is that you need to stop whining and start taking control of your own life. To top of page

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Most stock quote data provided by BATS. Market indices are shown in real time, except for the DJIA, which is delayed by two minutes. All times are ET. Disclaimer. Morningstar: © 2018 Morningstar, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Factset: FactSet Research Systems Inc. 2018. All rights reserved. Chicago Mercantile Association: Certain market data is the property of Chicago Mercantile Exchange Inc. and its licensors. All rights reserved. Dow Jones: The Dow Jones branded indices are proprietary to and are calculated, distributed and marketed by DJI Opco, a subsidiary of S&P Dow Jones Indices LLC and have been licensed for use to S&P Opco, LLC and CNN. Standard & Poor's and S&P are registered trademarks of Standard & Poor's Financial Services LLC and Dow Jones is a registered trademark of Dow Jones Trademark Holdings LLC. All content of the Dow Jones branded indices © S&P Dow Jones Indices LLC 2018 and/or its affiliates.