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Stanley Bing
Just a few ways to be profitably and pleasantly (if uselessly) employed, from Stanley Bing's book, "100 Bulls**t Jobs and How to Get Them" (Harper Collins).
HMO health care professional
See sick people, get rid of them.

$$: Not so great, actually. You could do a lot better as a plastic surgeon, allergist, or any specialist not supported by insurance.

The upside: After a while, figuring out ways to deny people medical attention can be a challenging game. The good news is that you win more than you lose.

The downside: Sometimes people get so sick that you may have to treat them.

The dark side: Even though it's not really your fault and you're only enforcing the codes and regulations of the system you work for, and everybody has to make a living, you know, sometimes it's very narrowly possible that you may do something, or not do something, that results in the death of somebody. Then, you know, if you think about it too much and dwell on it in a way that you really have no reason to, you may feel bad.

Where you go from here: Hunting endangered species for their fur.
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ExecutricksThe central question of every hardworking person's career is how to work less hard while still being able to buy an expensive bottle of wine without trembling. The answer is simple: Retire while still working! (more)
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Market indexes are shown in real time, except for the DJIA, which is delayed by two minutes. All times are ET. Disclaimer Morningstar: © 2014 Morningstar, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Disclaimer The Dow Jones IndexesSM are proprietary to and distributed by Dow Jones & Company, Inc. and have been licensed for use. All content of the Dow Jones IndexesSM © 2014 is proprietary to Dow Jones & Company, Inc. Chicago Mercantile Association. The market data is the property of Chicago Mercantile Exchange Inc. and its licensors. All rights reserved. FactSet Research Systems Inc. 2014. All rights reserved. Most stock quote data provided by BATS.