Skip to main content
Stanley Bing
Just a few ways to be profitably and pleasantly (if uselessly) employed, from Stanley Bing's book, "100 Bulls**t Jobs … and How to Get Them" (Harper Collins).
Investment banker
Strumpet of capital

$$: Booooooo- yah!

How to get it: Must attend many conferences and hang with financial types, bullshitting extensively about ways perfectly good businesses can be blown up, macerated, pureed or jammed together with others for no particular reason other than that nobody has done it yet. If you look at really stupid deals and do not say "why," but instead say "why not," then you've got what it takes.

The upside: These guys are so rich their Bentleys have Bentleys.

The downside: Sometimes you get a hangnail getting out of the limo.

The dark side: You must consort with many, many moguls. Every occupation has its tools, but they're really big ones.
Ad exec Agent Allergist Aroma- therapist Aquarium cleaner Backup dancer Barista Being a
brand
Being Donald Trump Blogger Book editor Boulevardier Cable news demagogue Celebrity stylist Chairman Cheese artisan Closet organizer Construction- site flag waver Consultant Crumber Diet doctor Dolphin trainer Economist Executive Vice President, New Media Expert witness Feng Shui consultant Greeter Handwriting analyst Headhunter HMO health care professional Industrial psychologist Infomercial spokesperson Investment banker Life coach Marriage counselor Meteorologist on TV Patent troll Personal trainer Poet Political reverend Posse dude Quantum physicist Roadkill collector Rogue journalist Sports bloviator Pundit Velvet-rope Nazi Vice president Yeti Best-selling author

Tell us about your crazy boss
Is your boss heading for a self-made disaster? Scared of his own shadow? Just plain weird? Share your insane workplace story.
ExecutricksThe central question of every hardworking person's career is how to work less hard while still being able to buy an expensive bottle of wine without trembling. The answer is simple: Retire while still working! (more)

Most stock quote data provided by BATS. Market indices are shown in real time, except for the DJIA, which is delayed by two minutes. All times are ET. Disclaimer.

Morningstar: © 2014 Morningstar, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Factset: FactSet Research Systems Inc. 2014. All rights reserved.

Chicago Mercantile Association: Certain market data is the property of Chicago Mercantile Exchange Inc. and its licensors. All rights reserved.

Dow Jones: The Dow Jones branded indices are proprietary to and are calculated, distributed and marketed by DJI Opco, a subsidiary of S&P Dow Jones Indices LLC and have been licensed for use to S&P Opco, LLC and CNN. Standard & Poor's and S&P are registered trademarks of Standard & Poor’s Financial Services LLC and Dow Jones is a registered trademark of Dow Jones Trademark Holdings LLC. All content of the Dow Jones branded indices © S&P Dow Jones Indices LLC 2014 and/or its affiliates.

Most stock quote data provided by BATS. Market indices are shown in real time, except for the DJIA, which is delayed by two minutes. All times are ET. Disclaimer.

Morningstar: © 2014 Morningstar, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Factset: FactSet Research Systems Inc. 2014. All rights reserved.

Chicago Mercantile Association: Certain market data is the property of Chicago Mercantile Exchange Inc. and its licensors. All rights reserved.

Dow Jones: The Dow Jones branded indices are proprietary to and are calculated, distributed and marketed by DJI Opco, a subsidiary of S&P Dow Jones Indices LLC and have been licensed for use to S&P Opco, LLC and CNN. Standard & Poor's and S&P are registered trademarks of Standard & Poor’s Financial Services LLC and Dow Jones is a registered trademark of Dow Jones Trademark Holdings LLC. All content of the Dow Jones branded indices © S&P Dow Jones Indices LLC 2014 and/or its affiliates.