Skip to main content
Stanley Bing
Just a few ways to be profitably and pleasantly (if uselessly) employed, from Stanley Bing's book, "100 Bulls**t Jobs … and How to Get Them" (Harper Collins).
Personal trainer
Famous example: Richard Simmons
Personal trainer
Build average humans into gorgeous beasts, have sex with as many as you like, marry some of them for brief periods of time.

$$: $35,000 per annum. But what's the meaning of money when part of your job is holding J. Lo's foot while she tries to work out her upper thigh?

The upside: Lookin' great, eating like a champ, swinging high and hard and loose? What a gig!

The downside: The San Francisco Chronicle does a huge exposé revealing that the special additive you've been giving to your customers is, in fact, anabolic steroid. You go to jail and your clients are disgraced, in addition to having tiny, shrunken testicles.

The dark side: You are an overexercised monster, both bulgy and stringy at the same time, your body is aging, and so are the poor, hyperstressed clients you tend to; you wake up one morning, and God, you're tired.
Ad exec Agent Allergist Aroma- therapist Aquarium cleaner Backup dancer Barista Being a
brand
Being Donald Trump Blogger Book editor Boulevardier Cable news demagogue Celebrity stylist Chairman Cheese artisan Closet organizer Construction- site flag waver Consultant Crumber Diet doctor Dolphin trainer Economist Executive Vice President, New Media Expert witness Feng Shui consultant Greeter Handwriting analyst Headhunter HMO health care professional Industrial psychologist Infomercial spokesperson Investment banker Life coach Marriage counselor Meteorologist on TV Patent troll Personal trainer Poet Political reverend Posse dude Quantum physicist Roadkill collector Rogue journalist Sports bloviator Pundit Velvet-rope Nazi Vice president Yeti Best-selling author

Tell us about your crazy boss
Is your boss heading for a self-made disaster? Scared of his own shadow? Just plain weird? Share your insane workplace story.
ExecutricksThe central question of every hardworking person's career is how to work less hard while still being able to buy an expensive bottle of wine without trembling. The answer is simple: Retire while still working! (more)