Previous occupation: Research scientist, Eli Lilly
Age at retirement: 55
Laura Mendelsohn had been warned by friends to expect some tension with her husband after she retired. Married 26 years to Alan, she thought they had worked out all the usual marital kinks along the way. "We got along so well," she says. "What could we possibly have conflict with?"For starters, having less time and space to herself. If he is watching television, and she wants to practice her violin, she schleps her stuff upstairs. When she needs to work on part-time medical writing assignments, he has a hard time with her shutting the door in order to concentrate. "If I want to read a book or work on learning Italian," she says, "I have to hide. It's great that he wants to be with me, but sometimes I'm busy conjugating verbs."
Phyllis Moen, a sociology professor at the University of Minnesota who has studied the effects of retirement on marriage, remarks, "Couples need to renegotiate their time together and their routines, just as they did early in their marriage." Developing common interests keeps relationships strong. Neither Laura nor Alan traveled much for work, so trotting the globe was a big priority. But just as important is having time apart. Alan wants to see more of the world than Laura does. So last year he toured Asia without her. Laura joined a book group and takes acrylic painting classes. "I'm more solitary, and he's very gregarious," she says.
