Advice for the families

Back at the barbecue, the three couples talk about what they've learned from the planners and how they plan to proceed.

The Steins are going to use most of their savings to pay down credit-card debt (they're keeping $5,000 in the bank for emergencies). But they haven't sworn off borrowing. They plan to apply for a $42,000 home-equity loan - that's 40 percent more than the planners suggested - to wipe out their remaining credit card balances and to pay for Stuart's career training and a new fence around their yard.

The Mendells have pledged to boost their retirement savings. "I thought we were on the right path," says Emily. "But we've got a lot more saving to do than I thought." They say that they are also committed to cutting back on their spending but haven't decided how. Meanwhile, Emily is still shopping for a Mercedes.

The Wrights, who had a sinking feeling about their finances before talking to the planners, say they were pleasantly surprised at the planners' assessment. "We're in better shape than we thought," says Ernest. Miriam is sending out her newly revamped résumé and has already landed one job interview.

In the end, all three families say that taking a closer look at their own finances, rather than using others as a gauge, has given them a clearer picture of where they stand when it comes to money. The Joneses they now want to live up to are not their next-door neighbors but rather their own expectations. Their financial security is up to them, they realize. And it's none of their neighbors' business.