Prudent or just paranoid

"I'm a firm believer that everyone has to have some money that he or she can spend without reporting to the other spouse," says Ginita Wall, a financial planner in San Diego and director of the Women's Institute for Financial Education.

But a secret account isn't the best way for you to gain autonomy dollars. Use separate accounts instead. You can either put your paychecks into a joint household account and move pre-negotiated sums into the individual ones, or deposit your pay into your own accounts and then transfer set amounts into the household fund.

That way you each know about the accounts, and how much is going into them, but you're not forced to discuss how you spend every nickel. If you want that $200 haircut or $500 playoff ticket, go for it. If, on the other hand, you (or your spouse) are stashing money on the sly, you likely have a bigger trust issue that needs to be addressed, says Wall.

The prudent conclusion: You should have money you can call your own, but don't hide it from your spouse.