My spouse just complains
My spouse just complains
Question: How should I approach the subject of finances with a spouse who complains about having no input -- but then, when given a financial task, complains about having to do it?
--T.N., Tacoma

Advice from Money readers:

After 43 years of marriage, I've learned that you let it go. -- Robert M. Smith, Franklin, Tenn.

Tell your spouse that having a say in your financial well-being is like voting for President. If you don't participate, you have no right to complain about the results. -- Les Liimatainen, Esko, Minn.

Schedule a monthly meeting to share a glass of wine and review your budget, balance sheet, and goals with each other. -- Elizabeth George, Dallas

Treat your spouse like a business partner who has delegated financial management to you. Provide easy-to-understand reports about family finances, with clear choices and their consequences. -- Thor Anderson, St. Louis

That's life. Better to ask for input, even if your spouse complains, than be secretive. -- Jim Overby, Eden Prairie, Minn.

The expert take: Having input might mean that your spouse just wants more information, not necessarily hands-on work. He or she might feel vulnerable or ignorant. Maybe your partner doesn't feel competent or doesn't have enough time or interest to do a task.

Emotions can get heated around money, so try to approach the subject objectively. Ask your spouse, "What would you need to feel like you're involved?" -- Paula Levy, CPA and marriage and family therapist

By Ismat Sarah Mangla @Money - Last updated July 03 2012: 12:41 PM ET
Join the Conversation
Basic rules for getting rich

Money readers and experts weigh in with advice that will help you lay a foundation for accumulating wealth.

Find Homes for sale
  • Property Type
  • Find a home in:
    New York | Atlanta | Chicago | Los Angeles
    Washington D.C | Houston | Philadelphia | More options
Market indexes are shown in real time, except for the DJIA, which is delayed by two minutes. All times are ET. Disclaimer Morningstar: © 2014 Morningstar, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Disclaimer The Dow Jones IndexesSM are proprietary to and distributed by Dow Jones & Company, Inc. and have been licensed for use. All content of the Dow Jones IndexesSM © 2014 is proprietary to Dow Jones & Company, Inc. Chicago Mercantile Association. The market data is the property of Chicago Mercantile Exchange Inc. and its licensors. All rights reserved. FactSet Research Systems Inc. 2014. All rights reserved. Most stock quote data provided by BATS.