Question: How do I say no to a good friend asking me for a loan? I'm not sure it will be paid back, but I don't want to ruin the friendship. -- W.H., Wheaton, Ill. Advice from Money readers:Perhaps you need to reevaluate your friendship if you can't say no and still be friends. -- Shamecha Simms, via Facebook
I would say that it is not my policy to give out loans to anyone (family or friends), but that I would be happy to help by looking into ways that he or she could get the money. Even when you say no, it is good to show that you still care by volunteering other ways to help. -- Jennifer L. Lopez, via Facebook
I just explain that I wouldn't lend a family member that type of money, much less anyone else. -- Maurice Greer, Bowie, Md.
Tell your friend that you are not financially able to help him or her out because you have concerns of your own. -- Wayne Gray, Overland Park, Kan.
The expert take: Give a response that doesn't make it personal: "I'm sorry, but I've always had this rule not to lend money to friends." Applying a generic rule tells the person, "Hey, this has nothing to do with you." You could also say, "I value our friendship so much that I really worry this could get in the way."
The problem is that sometimes friends push back. Then, you have to be more direct. You need to remember your reasons are good ones. Keeping your convictions in mind will help you stay firm. -- Andrea Bonior, clinical psychologist and author of "The Friendship Fix"
NEXT: Saying no to co-workers
