(FORTUNE Magazine) – In which Kindly Dr. Keeping Up adumbrates the rise of public toplessness to burning issuehood in American politics while also invoking Sigmund Freud and % asking the fateful question: What does the women's movement want? Dear Kindly: Kindly adumbrate one step at a time, as we could lose readers fast if this gets too tangled and a football game is on. We begin with a certain tension discernible in the movement. Half the femmes seem to want to walk around topless while the other half, plainly including the Penn State contingent, repeatedly evidences prudish propensities. Dear Doc: The Penn State allusion is of course to the craven decision of management at the Schuylkill campus to sanitize one of the classrooms by removing the reproduction of Francisco de Goya's ''Naked Maja'' after complaints from the Liaison Committee of the Penn State Commission for Women. Yes, the selfsame painting (c. 1800) that got Goya called before the Inquisition, and resulted in a run on magnifying glasses by 14-year-old American philatelists when it turned up on a 1930 Spanish one-peseta stamp, is again in trouble with the feminist sex police. After hanging in the classroom for ten years, it is now deemed to constitute a per se case of sexual harassment. Dear Dr. Up: You posit that the Penn State prudes are at odds with the breast-barers? One senses a certain inconsistency, does not one, between the news from Schuylkill and the fact that National Organization for Women prexy Patricia Ireland plans to lead a parade of topless femmes up Pennsylvania Avenue, past the White House, to draw attention to women's concerns about breast cancer. Dear Keeping: And when does this arguably wondrous spectacle take place? Regrettably it is on hold, as is the plan to undress before the High Court, thereby making the point that the Supremes have stripped femmes of their rights. Dear Kindly Doctor: One senses it is time to talk about a few movement stalwarts who have actually disrobed outdoors. The most recent news on this front is from Monroe County, in western New York, where Judge Patricia D. Marks has finally terminated years of litigation about nudity above the waist and found for the Topless Seven, a group of militant femmes arguing that dolls have just as much right as guys to take it off upstairs. The judge's most sensational finding: ''Male and female breasts are physiologically similar except for lactation capability.'' Dear Upkeep: So New York women at last have a right to doff bras? The funny thing is, they had won the same right in earlier rulings in the Empire State -- but rejected the rulings. + Dear Kindly Doc: Oh, dear. It is getting complicated, and the pigskin parade is all over the tube. Yes, but the story of topless rights cannot be told without bringing up one large nuance in modern feminist doctrine. The femmes had earlier won the right to take off tops on First Amendment grounds, i.e., where their disrobing was viewed as ''expressive conduct,'' designed to advance a cause by doing something shocking. Nikki Craft and numerous other feminists have rejected this ''right,'' apparently because it implies there is something shocking about breast-baring. So they demanded, and have now apparently won, the right to take it off on Fourteenth Amendment equal-protection grounds: If guys can do it, so can dolls. Dear Doc: Kindly introduce the witness just named. Nikki, a frequent barer who may hold the U.S. record for arrests due to toplessness, is also famous for comparing her topless crusade to the civil rights struggle faced by Southern blacks decades ago. Dear Up: And she is still on the loose? You could see her on Pennsylvania Avenue soon enough.