(FORTUNE Magazine) – In which this department presents its third annual salute to the dog days, a feature incorporating the dozen most unsurprising headlines of the past 12 months. As in the past, we have dismissively rejected all headlines hinting that the news story might in any way alter the reader's basic understanding of planetary conditions.

STEINEM HASN'T DESERTED FEMINIST CAUSE -- Minneapolis Star Tribune, March 3 FLOODING SPOILS WEEKEND FUN ON THE MISSISSIPPI -- Los Angeles Times, June 28 LIFE REMAINS GRIM FOR THE ALBANIANS -- New York Times, June 20 COLOMBIAN JAILED FOR DRUG SMUGGLING -- Jerusalem Post, December 9 ILLEGAL NANNY HIRING IS CALLED COMMON -- Newsday, January 15 REPRESSION STILL RIFE IN RURAL HAITI -- Washington Post, May 30 CLINTON'S HOLLYWOOD TIES OK, SAYS STREISAND -- Washington Times, May 24 CONFUSION AND ERROR ARE RIFE IN HOSPITAL BILLING PRACTICES -- New York Times, January 27 HARASSMENT HAMMERS WOMEN IN CONSTRUCTION -- Newsday, October 9 OFFICIAL CANDIDATES WIN IN CUBA -- St. Petersburg Times, February 26 PALESTINIANS, ISRAELIS CLASH -- Washington Post, October 16 CALL TO END LAWYER-BASHING INSPIRES EVEN MORE JOKES -- Los Angeles Times, July 8