(FORTUNE Magazine) – More than ever, the upper middle class is synonymous with the stressed-out class. Their bosses are overloading them with work, their subordinates are grousing, and the manager down the hall just got taken out. At home, the financial temperature is rising as the kids approach college age and retirement is no longer a total abstraction. Meanwhile, the spouse's job looks rocky. If you live in this kind of world, you might very well be highly irritable, prone to arguing, and unable to sleep, or feel as if you're crawling into a hole. Hypertension hits; your cholesterol is up. These are among the many symptoms of stress. Since 1990, the New York University Medical Center has seen a 70% jump in the number of managers and professionals suffering from job-related problems. These strategies for coping can make life more livable.

-- Get a grip on your finances. You might feel powerless at work, but here's an area where you can exercise control. Most successful people don't trade down -- at least not voluntarily. But you can go over the budget and set spending priorities. If you've taken a salary cut, don't try to keep up pretenses.

-- Communicate with your family. ''Sharing feelings is important in itself but also leads to creative ideas,'' says psychiatrist David Trachtenberg of Bethesda, Maryland. For example, ask your children to help figure out ways to save for their college education. This will help them feel they are contributing and can also raise their self-esteem.

-- Have fun. Watch a funny video, counsels Jacob Trachtenberg, a Philadelphia M.D. Take a break from problem solving. During your commute home, disengage your mind from work and relax. If you're tense when you get home, it's okay to tell the wife and kids that you need a half-hour by yourself.

-- Manage your office time more efficiently to cut the hours at work, suggests psychologist Rosalind Barnett of Wellesley College. If you have to work long hours to keep your job, don't just ignore family problems, but use the phone -- for example, call a teacher about your child. Says she: ''You can ride the ) exercise bike all you want at the club, but if your kid's failing algebra, that won't stop your stress.''

-- Make sure the time you do have at home is spent sharing yourself with your children. Families often make it into the upper middle class because both parents work, cutting the time they spend with their children. A Harvard study found that compared with just a decade ago, kids have lost nearly one hour a day with parents. Hence many children in dual-earner families are angry, depressed, and aggressive, says David Elkind, a child psychologist at Tufts University. Don't send them to karate or dance classes, Elkind advises, when you could be reading to them. Even doing chores with children is healthy, because they learn skills that way.

-- Don't let resentments build. Talk with your kids. If things are rough at work, requiring extensive time away from home, it's important to explain this to your older children (those over 8), says Kyle D. Pruett, M.D., a child psychiatrist at Yale. ''Most people underestimate their kids' capacity for empathy,'' he notes. With younger children, however, you just have to bear their wrath.