(FORTUNE Magazine) – DEAR ANNIE: I am a female working for a global FORTUNE 500 chemical company. I recently took a new position that was supposed to involve a lot of international travel, and I was excited about the opportunity this would give me for future career growth. But once I got the job, promises of overseas experience changed. My travel is now limited to Canada, while my male counterparts get the assignments I hoped for in Mexico, Brazil, and (as I was originally promised) Asia. When I asked why, I was told that my department head thinks it is unsafe for women to travel abroad, and furthermore that Latin and Japanese men will not negotiate with women. Does a U.S. company have the right to discriminate this way? Does U.S. employment law extend to overseas assignments? DISAPPOINTED

DEAR DISAPPOINTED: What puzzles me is why a boss with such antiquated views about women would have given you this job in the first place. But yes, U.S. employment law does apply to U.S.-based employees of American companies who are sent on periodic overseas assignments, and what your company is doing is clearly discriminatory--i.e., it is allowing your sex to determine the terms and conditions of your employment. Says Scott Barer, a partner specializing in labor law at Rosenfeld Meyer & Susman in Los Angeles: "The fear-for-your-safety argument is bogus because in countries where female business travelers are at risk, their male counterparts usually are as well. The company has a responsibility to take steps to ensure the safety of all its overseas employees, not just the women."

Refreshingly, Barer does not recommend that you rush out and file a lawsuit--at least not yet. First, go to your company's human resources department and complain to the EEOC person there. "If they are smart, they will take it seriously and start working with you and your bosses to resolve this," Barer says. He acknowledges that this will probably put you in a "politically awkward situation" with your department head, but if you really want international experience, you will have to grit your teeth and insist on it.

As for overseas clients' preferring to negotiate with men, my impression--based on admittedly unscientific research (namely, brief chats with a dozen or so female executives who travel a lot)--is that this is changing fast, and that Japanese businessmen in particular are beginning to think doing business with American women is just fine. Readers, what's your experience?

DEAR ANNIE: In our cubicle maze, you can hear every word that co-workers say within 50 feet or so. I try not to listen, and believe me, I've learned the hard way not to say anything I don't want overheard or repeated. When is it okay to respond to a question or remark I overhear? Some seem to be directed at no one in particular--for instance, "Who brought the cookies?" When colleagues talk or joke across walls, is it okay to join in? Or would it be more polite to pretend I don't hear them? BIG EARS

DEAR EARS: Speaking as someone who, years ago, overheard some truly harrowing conversations through cubicle walls (including a memorable interrogation of a hapless reporter by an irate financial honcho that began with the ominous query, "Does the word 'embezzlement' mean anything to you?"), I do sympathize. One course of action would be to adopt what etiquette expert Judith "Miss Manners" Martin, in her book Miss Manners Rescues Civilization (Crown, $30), calls Polite Fiction: Pretend you overhear nothing, ever. Writes Martin: "The strange thing is that people who suffer from the symptoms of Polite Fiction--deafness, blindness, and amnesia--tend to be especially beloved for their disabilities."

The real problem here is that all this cross-cubicle palaver is distracting to people who are actually trying to get some work done. Marjorie Brody, an executive coach who heads Brody Communications in Elkins Park, Pa., suggests that you and your fellow cubicle dwellers have a meeting in which you all agree not to talk across walls (and while you're at it, she proposes another rule: no playing back voice-mail messages on speakerphones). It shouldn't be hard to get a consensus on this, since most of the people around you are probably just as uncomfortable as you are.

Adds Brody: "Unless a question or comment is addressed to you personally, don't respond. Otherwise, you're just encouraging this unprofessional behavior."

DEAR ANNIE: Is it ever appropriate to put on makeup (lipstick, powder, etc.) during a business meal? TED

DEAR TED: I assume you are not asking on your own behalf but are hoping to wave this page in front of someone's face, perhaps the moment she whips out her lipstick at the table. That would, of course, be quite rude of you. I called Alan R. Schonberg, CEO of Cleveland-based Management Recruiters International and author of a new book called 169 Ways to Score Points With Your Boss (Contemporary Books, $14.95 paperback). "Have you ever noticed how few women do that anymore?" Schonberg asks. "The few who do really stick out like sore thumbs. It may seem trivial, but as a boss, I would question this person's judgment about other things as well." The same applies, by the way, to other kinds of carelessness Schonberg has witnessed at business meals in restaurants. A few tips from his book: Don't bring your cell phone. Don't complain about the food. Oh, and never, ever talk down to waitpersons.