(FORTUNE Magazine) – DEAR ANNIE: When is it appropriate to reveal to a prospective employer that I am three months pregnant? This will be my second child, so I have highly reliable day-care arrangements in place, and although I do plan to take a three-month maternity leave, I definitely intend to return to work at the end of it, partly because I am my family's main breadwinner. But so far, job interviewers to whom I've mentioned my condition suddenly seem to lose interest in me. Should I wait until I have a firm offer in hand before bringing it up? SAVANNAH

DEAR SAVANNAH: Yikes! That would be just about the worst thing you could do. You must bring it up way before you get an offer, simply because anybody who hires you without being told that you are expecting is likely to feel--with good reason--that you got the job under false pretenses and are not to be trusted. This is not a great way to start off in a new company. Let me ask you this: Do you absolutely have to change jobs right now? Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 prohibits employers from discriminating against you for being pregnant--but let's face it, in the real world an interviewer looking at several qualified candidates for a job is going to prefer to hire one who isn't planning to take an extended leave anytime soon. Even if you are so uniquely wonderful that you win the job anyway, think about the strain you'll be under with a new job and a new baby. So consider your options carefully: It might be far better for you and for everybody else if you can delay and take on these high-stress tasks one at a time.

If you really have no choice but to job-hunt while in a family way, Tina Santi Flaherty has a few tips for you. A former executive at Colgate-Palmolive and GTE, Flaherty has written two books, The Savvy Woman's Success Bible and Talk Your Way to the Top (Perigee Books, each $13), that tackle tricky situations such as this. "Appearance and body language are always essential in a job interview, but especially when you're pregnant," says Flaherty. "First, because pregnancy denotes sexuality, many women look down while they talk about it, out of modesty. Don't. Sit up straight and look the interviewer right in the eye. You want to appear confident and unapologetic." Second, Flaherty urges that you "be proactive and suggest a specific game plan to address the employer's uncertainties about you. For instance, if you are set up to work efficiently from home, say so. And have a detailed time line ready--that is, say how long you expect to be out, how reachable you will be during that time, when you'll be back in the office full-time, and so on." It couldn't hurt to point out that this is your second child, so you've been down this road before and are prepared for the occasional pothole.

And last but not least, it does matter what you wear: "You need to come across as a totally professional person who just happens to be pregnant. Wear, for example, a black dress with a blazer over it, and avoid the kind of cutesy-poo maternity clothes that have little ducks embroidered on the collar." Good luck.

DEAR ANNIE: At my company's annual holiday party a couple of months ago, I drank a lot more than usual, and late in the evening, I was dancing with the wife of a colleague and we got a little carried away. This was a mutual attraction that we acted on in a moment of stupidity, but it is keeping me awake at night because her husband has just been promoted and is now my boss. I have no idea whether she ever told him about "us," but what if she did? Should I say anything to him? Or just pretend it never happened and hope for the best? Or start job-hunting now? SWEATING BULLETS

DEAR S.B.: For crying out loud, why say anything? If your boss' wife has kept mum about this, um, incident, you'd be doing no one any favors by bringing it to his attention. You may simply have gotten away with a big corporate faux pas here--now just let it die, and get back to work.

The whole subject of drinking (or not) comes up in this space with some regularity, so let me propose a good rule: Drink alcohol only when you are among friends--and corporate politics being what they are, most people have far fewer of them at an office party than they think they do.