(FORTUNE Magazine) – DEAR ANNIE: I am a 31-year-old single man. About two months ago I started dating a colleague, who works in a department that is closely allied with mine, although we don't report to the same boss. Everything was going just fine until last week, when she and I were called in by a human resources person who asked us each to sign a document stating that our relationship is mutually consensual. This creeps us out--not because the document is inaccurate, but because we think it's weird to have to report to the company on our love life. Have you ever heard of this before? Is it legal? What if we just tell them it's none of their business? WINSTON

DEAR WINSTON: Clever of you to have signed your letter with the first name of the protagonist in George Orwell's 1984. Yes, Big Brother is watching--and, although privacy laws as they apply to employers and employees vary from state to state, in most places these consent forms are perfectly legal. In fact, it's usually lawyers who are advising human resources departments to require them, and the practice is getting more common. If you're going to refuse to sign, the argument that your love life is none of the company's business will not, alas, hold much water. That's because the purpose of the offending document is to short-circuit a sexual-harassment claim if, later on, you or your colleague should decide to say that the relationship was not consensual but instead involved one of you harassing the other. The individual accused is not necessarily the only one liable in such a case; the company could be too. All this nosiness on your employer's part is just an effort to contain the possible legal damage from a romance gone awry.

So should you sign, or not? I talked with half a dozen employment lawyers around the U.S. and got (surprise!) wildly different answers from plaintiffs attorneys than from those representing big companies. Stephen Kohn, a partner at Kohn Kohn & Colapinto in Washington, D.C., is in the former camp. "There is still no law against two people falling in love or dating, no matter where they work. Period. So this form is bizarre and unnecessary," he says. He goes still further: "This kind of consent could even lead to harassment as a direct result. What are you consenting to, exactly? Drinks and dinner? Sexual intercourse? Or what? If I were the woman, I would definitely refuse to sign it. What if she decides to end the romance? Is she going to want the guy coming back to her later and saying, 'You consented in writing to this relationship, so you have to go out with me'?" Hey, no offense, Winston, but you see Kohn's point. His recommendation: Refuse to sign and, if your employer retaliates, ask the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission to investigate.

At the other end of the spectrum is the suggestion made by several corporate attorneys: Just sign the damn thing, but only on (written) condition that to protect your personal privacy you and the legal department are henceforth the only ones who will ever lay eyes on it. You may also want to insist that language be included (if it isn't already) to make crystal clear that the relationship is consensual as of the date of signing and not necessarily for all time. And if all this makes you wonder whether dating a colleague is really worth feeling spied on and having to quibble with lawyers--well, that just may be your employer's true intent.

DEAR ANNIE: I am trying to find a job in my boss' hometown, where she knows everybody worth knowing in the business community. How can I go about doing this without her finding out? Or should I just tell her I'm looking? SACRAMENTO

DEAR SACRAMENTO: Well, now, let's use our imaginations for a minute here. Suppose your boss happens to be chatting with some old chum who says, "Oh, by the way, [insert your name here] just interviewed for a job with us the other day. What do you think of him?" Your surprised and annoyed boss is not likely to come out with a flattering reply. Far better she hear from you that you are job hunting than from someone else--and, who knows, your announcement could start off an interesting conversation about why you're dissatisfied where you are. Maybe your boss would rather fix the problem than lose you. But even if not, you owe her the chance to think it over.