I Got DSL From Bell Atlantic in 40 Easy Steps! ISN'T INTERNET SERVICE SUPPOSED TO BE FAST?
By Carolyn T. Geer

(FORTUNE Magazine) – A letter touting Bell Atlantic's new high-speed Internet service arrives at my house in October: "Tired of waiting for files to download? Or for Internet home pages to appear? Wish you didn't have to tie up your phone line while you wait?"

Yes, yes, and yes!

"Call toll-free to see if your household qualifies."

Palms sweaty, I dial the number. Score! I live in an area that's eligible for digital subscriber line, or DSL, service. My euphoria fades quickly. Getting DSL from Bell Atlantic is a laborious, enervating process that takes three months, four technician's visits, dozens of phone calls, and 40 conversations.

At a recent conference, Bell Atlantic CEO Ivan Seidenberg acknowledged that the company had problems with DSL installation: "Just like everyone else who's trying to offer this, we have had some getting-started bumps." Hey, Ivan, ever tried to order DSL from your company? It's a customer-service disaster of epic proportions.

My troubles start immediately. I want a second phone line with DSL service, but Bell Atlantic can't process both orders at once. The company is a two-headed beast. There are the phone people and the DSL people. Apparently they're not on speaking terms.

The phone people take my order for the new phone line and send me back to the DSL people to order that service. Two weeks later (the time I'm told it takes for a new number to show up in the computer) the DSL people can't find my number. Two more weeks pass, they find my number, but now they tell me I don't qualify for DSL service. The rep suspects it has something to do with the way the new phone was installed. Back to the phone people--another string of calls. Someone finally notices my ever-expanding file and refers my case to a "customer advocate."

The phrase immediately soothes me. That evening the phone rings; it's not my customer advocate (that person never calls). It is someone in the company's repair department confirming my "appointment" for the next day, sometime during the wee window of 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. What appointment? Who is this? She won't give her name, just her initials. "That's good enough," she says. "For whom?" I wonder in amazement. What she does give me is, yes, a number to call for more information.

I don't want an appointment. I want answers. I talk to some more phone people who conclude (incorrectly) that the problem is my area code. When I ordered my second line, Bell Atlantic told me there wasn't a single number in the 212 area code left in Manhattan (yeah, right), so I was issued one with a 917 area code. Now the phone people tell me that 917 numbers aren't compatible with DSL. Suddenly 212 numbers abound! I'll get one and the problem will be fixed, they say. A month later a DSL rep tells me there's a consolation for the long delay: Modems and installation prices have been cut in half to $100. Forgive me for not getting excited.

When my equipment arrives, it doesn't work. The modem I bought--the one emblazoned with Bell Atlantic's name--is defective. The company dispatches a rep to my house holding a fistful of adapters to solve the problem. He tries two different adapters. No go. The green "ready" light on the modem is supposed to be steady. Mine is flashing. That means I don't have "sync." Without sync I'm sunk. Then he surveys my telephone connection. The problem? The phone people ran my new line through an existing jack. I need a separate jack for my new line; he gives me a "trouble ticket number" and a phone number to call.

I call it, and the woman who answers (at this point I am not sure whether she is a phone person or a DSL person) has no record of my trouble-ticket number. My account shows no trouble. "No trouble? I don't have sync!" I am nearly hysterical. Perhaps sensing I'm ready to lose it, she arranges for a rep to come out the next day.

My hero finally arrives. He mumbles something about how the phone people don't like the DSL people ("They're not union people") and installs a second jack, and I have sync. Well, almost. The first few times I sign on I have to jiggle the modem's wire to stop the green light from flashing. After a month, I am lulled into complacency. But as I finish writing this article, I can't log on. Turns out there's a service outage in New York. A rep tells me to call back in two days if I'm still having trouble. Here we go again.

--Carolyn T. Geer