(FORTUNE Magazine) – On a recent trip to Mauritius, while dining with my funds manager at Ducasse--would someone PLEASE give Alain a break?--I overheard the woman at the next table carrying on about the new St. Regis in L.A. Given how rudely she treated the waiter, it seemed obvious that we were dealing with a person of the highest standards, if not the finest manners.

Perhaps I should have taken more note of her Pittsburgh accent. Frankly, the St. Regis, in the burrows of Century City, is more NOUVEAU than riche, with its overwrought lobby and Early Ramada room decor. Dismally absent is the charm of its grand sister in New York. The white gloves on the bellmen suggest a certain level of service, but when I inquire about a business center, I am snippily informed, "We don't cater to that kind of clientele." Apparently he imagines himself at a B&B on the VINEYARD.

After a workout in the sleek gym and a rubdown with Bijan bath products (THE ELF LIVES!), I come to the conclusion that by refusing to indulge in a Hollywood kind of glamour, the St. Regis--should it get its act together--could make the average traveler feel like a STAR. The thought offers only a moment of comfort. After all, the average traveler is hardly my concern.

See you in Venice... THE LOBBYIST