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From: joshuadavid@bettyford.net

Hey, guys. I hate chain stuff too, but this one seemed important...

On NPR's Morning Edition this week, Nina Totenberg didn't say a word about the lack of congressional support for the preservation of tiki bars. A right-wing conspiracy of silence? Consider that Second Lady and anti-NEA activist Lynne Cheney wouldn't say "pu pu" if she had a mouthful, though it's common knowledge that members of her family like their Shanghai Chicken washed down with Vicious Virgins (rum, lime, syrup, "in a passionate lagoon"). Well, it's time to speak out. Tell your elected officials you want the tikis saved!

Because so many Don the Beachcombers, Trader Vic's, and Aku Akus are ancient history, the tiki community has grown apathetic, not imagining things could get worse. But last year, in Columbus, Ohio, the Kahiki, one of our nation's greatest Polynesian supper clubs, famed for its giant Easter Island heads and Smoking Eruption cocktails, was torn down to make way for a Walgreens--and this after it had been placed on the National Register of Historic Places just three years earlier.

Where is the conservative compassion for these American icons? The conservatives we know spent their formative years slurping down Suffering Bastards. That, after all, is why they're so compassionate: They know what a Barrel O' Rum hangover feels like. You'll know too. Add your name to this petition, send it to 20 friends, then go to a tiki bar to show your support. Our current favorite is the Mai-Kai, in Fort Lauderdale. The towering, thatched-roof temple is lavishly decked in bamboo and festooned with fish traps, glass balls, and black-velvet paintings of bare-breasted maidens. You'll be enthralled by the fire-flinging Mai-Kai dancers as you savor crab Rangoon and lobster Bora Bora. Tour the giant tikis in the water gardens, then retire to the Molokai Bar for Shark Bites and flaming bowls of Mystery Drink. Can't get to Florida? Don't despair! Support is desperately needed in towns near you. Together, we can make a difference!