(FORTUNE Magazine) – In an effort to de-stress travelers, Bombay Sapphire is moving two large aquariums full of tropical fish from airport to airport (one just left J.F.K. for Miami; another is on its way to Madrid from Heathrow). Nice, but not as relaxing as a G&T....

Make two qualifying rentals--minimum $300 total--through Budget Rent a Car, and you can get a Big Wheel plastic tricycle through the company's rewards program....

At least one entrepreneur loves the plunging Dow: Gerald Ellenburg, whose Matrix Lodging is launching a high-tech, low-cost chain called eSuites. Ground has been broken on the first five, opening next March, in Tampa, Jacksonville, Albuquerque, Phoenix, and the San Francisco Bay Area. The plan is 30 locations by the end of next year. The concept: designer he (leather) or she (Pottery Barn-ish) suites with PC workstations, T3 Net access, copier-printer-fax machines, ergonomic chairs, and conference tables. While digital TVs, DVD players, and in-room treadmills all sound like good ideas, is vending-machine Lean Cuisine, nukable in the bedside microwave, really what harried executives want?...

Expense this one: Food friends in Los Angeles report that the hot table there is Chadwick (267 S. Beverly Dr., Beverly Hills; 310-205-9424)...

England's University of Surrey has installed Peter Jones as the world's first professor of airline food. Students include industry professionals and hopefuls. Professor Jones, we asked, how do you answer people who say that the food is terrible and beyond redemption? He declined to comment...

With a little help from IBM, United Airlines is going to install more than 800 self-service check-in machines at U.S. airports. E-ticket holders will be able to print boarding passes, request upgrades, and check bags at the kiosks...

Interested in intimidating someone over a meal? Check out www.ci.nyc.ny.us/html/doh/html/rii/index.html, where the New York City Department of Health details what it has found in restaurant inspections. Amazing what effect the word "vermin" can have in a nice restaurant...

Speaking of which--nice restaurants, that is--McDonald's has just opened two hotels in Switzerland. We kid you not: The headboards are big golden arches. Check out goldenarchhotel.com for details--and say a prayer for the long line of Swiss hoteliers now rolling in their graves...

A lot of you don't fly coach, ever, but those of us who do want to thank American Airlines once again for adding all that extra legroom...

Amtrak seems to be getting its act together somewhat. It's doubling high-speed Acela Express service from New York to Boston--and has finally added weekends to the schedule. In other Northeast Corridor news, Amtrak is upping the number of quiet cars from six to 24. Using cell phones and pagers or talking loudly is prohibited...

Tried ENADAlert, the newish jet-lag pill, on a recent trip to Madrid. Didn't particularly work, but others still swear by it. Personally, we prefer Xanax...

If the Nasdaq tanks on Thursday, head to Smith & Wollensky, the Post House, or Maloney & Porcelli: The Manhattan restaurants are pegging the price of a three-course lunch on Fridays (through Labor Day) to one-hundredth of Nasdaq. So if the index closes at 1000, lunch costs just $10. Now, if they would only let you pay with dot-com shares...