(FORTUNE Magazine) – 1 Lou Gerstner's 60th birthday. After almost nine years as CEO of IBM, Sweet Lou is retiring. Today. Sam Palmisano takes over, and Gerstner walks away with almost $10 million in cash. Time to buy an iPod! Other big-time birthdays: Michael Eisner and John Malone (the 7th), Rupert Murdoch (the 11th), Herb Kelleher (the 12th), and Sandy Weill (the 16th). Among these Pisces' potential faults is that "in business they can be unreliable, idle, careless, impractical, and ineffective." Zing!

2/3 The Iditarod XXX International Sled Dog Race begins in Anchorage. (Those X's mean it's the 30th race, not that it's naughty.) Over the next several weeks mushers will travel 1,150 miles by sled to Nome, Alaska, behind 16 Malamutes and Siberian Huskies.

4 ...Which, despite riding in the exhaust lane of 16 sled dogs, will probably go by a lot faster than the Corporate Finance Modeling Course for Excel from Euromoney Training and Institutional Investor. It runs through Thursday in New York City.

5 The International Conference on Wearable Computing is the centerpiece of this year's COMDEX Chicago. (It's one of 18 COMDEXes worldwide. They can't all be good.) Things we'd wear before a computer: (1) a calculator watch; (2) a singing tie; (3) a cell phone; (4) hypercolor; and (5) L.A. Gear.

6 FORTUNE's Most Powerful Women Summit convenes in Palm Springs, Calif. "It's the headiest gathering of top women ever!" says senior writer Pattie Sellers, who is masterminding the slumber party. "CEOs Meg Whitman of eBay and Andrea Jung of Avon and most of FORTUNE's recent Most Powerful list will be there to swap stories of struggle and success." In Orlando, Kiosk.com wraps up its adventures in "successful kiosk implementations" from "leading kiosk professionals." Kiosk, kiosk, kiosk. TiVo reports earnings on the 7th.

9/10 The Competitive Intelligence Executive Summit, in San Antonio, "is not a conference," says Erika Brown, director of marketing for the summit. "Those are things with PowerPoint and 'Zsa Zsa' events. Here, people go to panels and do peer-to-peer networking." Ah, so.

11 George Soros' new book, George Soros on Globalization, comes out. "I am only one of many experts on financial markets," Soros prefaces, "but my active concern for the future of humanity sets me apart from most others." (Take that, Mark Mobius.) Also out this month: Soros: The Life and Times of a Messianic Billionaire, by Michael T. Kaufman, who calls the Hungarian-born philanthropist the "altruistic counterpart to Osama bin Laden." How's that? "Like the Saudi fugitive, he has reveled in his autonomy, bypassing governments and using his fortune to establish a global network to advance his vision of righteousness."

12 Men's Week at the Golden Door Spa takes 39 otherwise businesslike men, swaddles them in herbal wraps, encourages dream sharing, and delivers their individualized daily massage schedules, diets, and workouts on little foldout paper fans.

13 Tina Brown's Talk magazine hosted an Innovators & Navigators conference last year on this date. "It's not scheduled this year," says a Miramax spokesman. "It's not happening. We are not going to have it."

14 Sixth Roundtable With the Government of Poland, at the Sheraton Warsaw Hotel & Towers. The Economist hosts Prime Minister Leszek Miller and his Democratic Left Alliance to discuss the future of the zloty.

15 The EU hosts the Barcelona European Council, a summit intended to build on the Lisbon Agenda--isn't that a Ludlum novel?--and make Europe the foremost world economy by 2010. And then, a nice long siesta.

16/17 South by Southwest, the annual music industry festival in Austin, Texas, boasts a chat Saturday between Courtney Love and Pulitzered business reporter Chuck Phillips of the L.A. Times. Speaking of blarney: On Sunday the world celebrates Saint Patrick, who rid Ireland of snakes.

19 The U.N. holds its first International Conference on Financing for Development, in Monterrey, Mexico. The World Bank, IMF, WTO, and President Bush are expected. In the U.S. the Fed makes another one of those interest rate decisions.

20 Spring is here! Except it's really not. Damn! Will the Hewlett-Packard/Compaq merger be a similar tease? Compaq shareholders make their $25 billion decision at 2 P.M. in Houston; HP owners already cast their votes yesterday.

21 The Radio-TV Correspondents Association Dinner, Washington Hilton. Some 2,000 capital-accredited broadcasters gather to award the Joan S. Barone award for funny name-rhyming (no, wait--excellence in journalism). Last year Tim Russert took home top honors for his Meet the Press "Decision 2000" interviews with Bush and Gore, and Bush made fun of his Bushisms. "'I appreciate preservation,'" Bush quoted himself as saying. "'It's what you do when you run for President. You've got to preserve.' I don't have the slightest idea what I was saying there." No word yet whether Dick Cheney will wear his funny hat.

23/24 Whoopi Goldberg leaves Hollywood Squares behind to host the Academy Awards on Sunday at the new Kodak Theater. Gilbert Gottfried burns with envy but moves up to the center square anyway.

25 In Scottsdale, Ariz., the PC Forum Gala Dinner tonight features a talk by General Wesley Clark, retired U.S. Army General and former NATO Supreme Allied Commander. PC Forum (which goes through the 27th) attracts high-profile invitees like speaker Jean-Marie Messier, CEO of Vivendi Universal. It also features several "frontier" (or startup) companies. "The frontier," says founder Esther Dyson, "is less visible now but more real." Kind of like the Force. Meanwhile, the Conference Board's U.S. Consumer Confidence numbers come out on the 26th.

27 WD-40 announces earnings. Give it up for a petroleum-based spray used as a lubricant, rust preventive, penetrant, and moisture displacer. The company also makes 3-IN-ONE oil and 2000 Flushes, but you knew that.

28 It's a grab-bag day! Take your pick: Passover (okay, it started last night), fourth-quarter GDP estimates, U.S. Quarterly Hog and Pig Inventory, or United Colors of Benetton, which reports earnings.

29 Dick Vitale punctuates the madness (his own and otherwise) at the NCAA Men's Final Four from the Alamodome in San Antonio. Also, major stock markets are closed for Good Friday.

30/31 Easter. The White House Easter Egg Roll isn't until Monday, but the Golden Egg has already been promised to some company from Texas. Sorry, kids.

For more information on these events, see fortune.com/calendar.