A Zagat Survey For Everything
By Tim Carvell

(FORTUNE Magazine) – News item: Nina and Tim Zagat, the husband-and-wife publishers of the eponymous restaurant and hotel guides, announced in early February that they would produce other rating books. First up is The Zagat Survey: Top Movies, which will highlight viewers' opinions, gathered mostly over the Internet. What could the next Zagat Surveys look like? We can only imagine.

2002 GUIDE TO MOVIES

The Seventh Seal

"Moody" and "depressing" work from Ingmar Bergman. The plot--about a man facing Death in a chess match--impresses some, but many find it "Death-ly dull" and "boring." Also, animal lovers, be warned: "Despite the title, the film contains no seals."

Prettiness 12

Action 2

Laughs 3

Suitability as a date movie 1

2002 GUIDE TO MRS. PEDERSEN'S SIXTH-GRADE CLASS AT FRANKLIN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, GREAT PLAINS, S.D.

Jennifer Tippett

Though a handful characterize Jennifer as "nice" and "not conceited or stuck-up," most respondents found her "a dorkface" or "a total dorkwad." Remarks centered on her "loser" clothing and "babyish" backpack. Several made reference to "that time she lied and told everyone she owned a pony and was dating Justin Timberlake."

Coolness 3

Niceness 6

Sleepover-party-worthiness 4

Best-friend-liness 3

2002 GUIDE TO PETTY GRIEVANCES IN TIM AND NINA ZAGAT'S MARRIAGE

The Thing About Putting Nearly Empty Cartons of Milk in the Fridge

Fully half of our respondents maintain that it is "thoughtless" to place a carton of milk with only a few tablespoons inside back in the refrigerator; the other half maintain that if there happens to be only a bit of milk left in the carton, it would be "wasteful" to pour it down the drain to satisfy some "neat-freak's fascist idea of what constitutes proper refrigerator etiquette."

Irritation 15

Inconsideration 15

Veiled hostility 15

Symptom of something larger we should probably discuss 15

2002 GUIDE TO ACCOUNTING FIRMS

Arthur Andersen

Andersen's clients rave about the firm's "live and let live" approach to numbers and single out the firm's auditors for their "open-mindedness" about accounting rules.

Creativity 8

Fun 24

Sense of humor 27

Spoilsport factor 4

2002 GUIDE TO ECONOMIC FORUMS

The World Economic Forum

This "clubby" gathering of "big thinkers" is a "swell time," though long-time attendees feel it's "gone downhill ever since they let Heidi Klum hang around." Participants are cautioned, "Be careful about where you sit at dinner, or you could wind up next to a certain former U.S. President who'll talk your ear off."

Networking 27

Exclusivity 24

Cocktail party snacks 28

Kissinger factor 30