(FORTUNE Magazine) – 1 May Day. April Fool!

2 Besides being cruel, April is National Poetry Month. A funny business poem called "Introspective Reflection," by Ogden Nash: I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance / Were it not for making a living, which is rather a nouciance. Best Buy reports earnings.

3 PBS starts airing "The Commanding Heights: Battle for the World Economy." Author Dan Yergin--who wrote the book on which the documentary is based--calls it "a sweeping narrative about the global economy and the battle over globalization." Well, thanks for spoiling it. The show continues on the 10th and 17th.

4 The SAP forum in Athens, Greece, covers CRM, ERP, and other acronymed business solutions. Tonight in N.Y.C., Loretta Lynn speaks about her memoir, Still Woman Enough. This is why they are called priorities.

5 At the Kellogg School of Management at Northwestern, both the Black Management Conference and the Gay & Lesbian MBA Conference get going. No word yet on whether a shuttle bus between the two will be provided.

6/7 Trinity Site, White Sands Missile Range, between Socorro and Carrizozo, N.M. The birthplace of the atomic age is open to the public twice a year, on the first Saturday of April and October. Beware of Trinite, a glassy green compound that "is still radioactive and may not be picked up."

8 First Among Equals, a new book co-authored by management smart guy David Maister, comes out. It's about "managing people who don't want to be managed," a subject that he insists "is not a low-level squishy liberal HR topic."

9 The FORTUNE Leadership Forum, Four Seasons Hotel, Chicago. Says editorial director Geoff Colvin: "Our shindig last fall was a big hit, so we're doing it again. Jack Welch, Michael Dell, Phil Condit of Boeing, and many others get together in partnership with strategy guru Gary Hamel to raise hell and paint the town red like a fire engine." Actually, the FORTUNE Business Calendar made up that hell-and-a-fire-engine part. On the 10th, at the Tech Museum's Tech Challenge in San Jose, child scientists build torch-carrying robots for prizes like "U.S. Savings Bonds, an 'insider' experience of Silicon Valley, and more!" On the 10th, Yahoo reports earnings.

11 The Masters, Augusta, Ga. The most prestigious golf tournament tees off today and runs through Sunday. Notably present: Tiger Woods and the best $1 pimento cheese sandwiches anywhere.

1 2The start of Harvard Business School's Mobius Leadership Forum. Deepak Chopra in attendance. For Harvard types mostly.

13/14Foreign Service Exam on Saturday. In the English Expression section applicants are informed that "The writing exercises measure the use of complete sentences/Agreement between parts of a sentence/Conventions of usage/Recognition of correctly written sentences."

17 Stanley Cup Playoffs begin, and the book tour for Philip Kaplan's F'd Companies hits Seattle. We called Kaplan on his cellphone for comment and got a customized Britney Spears "...Baby One More Time" voice message. These are facts.

18 Those not interested in the convergence of IT and the automotive industry should skip to the next entry. Otherwise: eAutoworld continues at the Ritz-Carlton in Dearborn, Mich. Spokesperson Alicia: "The big OEMs will be present." OEMs? "I'm not sure what that means either."

19 OEM: Original Equipment Manufacturer

20/21First round of France's presidential election. Chirac takes on Lionel Jospin, architect of the 35-hour workweek, and Jean-Pierre Chevenement, a former Socialist cabinet minister who spent a week in a deep coma--not, presumably, because a pretzel went down the wrong way.

15 Another one for National Poetry Month: Poor troubled aging Ken Lay/He's turning six-zero today/His wife says he's ruined/ he whole world is suin'/At least it ain't also tax day. (Oh, wait....) Happy birthday! Also born this month: Colin Powell (the 5th), Hugh Hefner (9th), Harvey Golub (16th). Meanwhile, Intel reports earnings, and in Monaco, it's the Accenture Global Convergence Forum. That name change sure looks good now. Ac-cen-ture. Ac-cen-ture. It positively rolls off the tongue.

22 The Milken Institute 2002 Global Conference, Beverly Hilton Hotel, Los Angeles. "It's not just a bunch of Wall Streeters talking about how to make a bunch of money," says Skip Reimer, head of communications for the economic think tank. The three-day conference, we should mention, is held in conjunction with Forbes. But what's wrong with making a bunch of money on Wall Street? After all, it could save you from having to auction off your Faberge collection.Tonight Milken moderates a conversation headlined by Hernando de Soto (not the one who claimed Florida for Spain).

23 Spirit in Business, N.Y.C. Planned around the Dalai Lama's since-canceled Radio City appearance, the event awaits a letter from him "on ethics and mindfulness for business," says director Jim Deluca. "He's in support of that, we are certain."

24 The Fed's Beige Book comes out. Initially, it was the Red Book--intended for policy-makers only. The report went public in 1983, and the new color was determined when the Boston Reserve Bank--responsible for writing the National Summary that year--printed it on beige paper, which they had in large supply.

25 Conference on Principles of Knowledge Representation and Reasoning, in Toulouse, France. Bernhard Nebel, who specializes in "robotics with an emphasis on robotic soccer," gives a speech tonight entitled "The Philosophic Soccer Player." "The main task of a soccer player is to score goals," Nebel writes. "However, there are moments in life when questions like the following become relevant: Is the ball I am seeing a hallucination or is it real? Should I revise my beliefs about where the ball is?... In the talk I will address these questions and show how one can create a successful robotic soccer team by giving the right answers."

27/28 The Aesthetic Meeting, Caesars Palace, Las Vegas: "The most exceptional meeting in the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery's 35-year history." Until Greta Van Susteren interviews Cher, at least.

30 Coal Prep, Lexington, Ky. The only source for the latest on dewatering, vibration analysis for shaking and rotating equipment, predictive maintenance, and fine-coal cleaning techniques. Oh, come back, new economy! All is forgiven!

For more information on these events, see fortune.com/calendar.