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Coping Mechanism Everyone's fat and we're on the brink of war. There's only one thing to do: buy an industrial-strength doughnut machine.
By Rob Turner

(FORTUNE Magazine) – Forget cholesterol and calories. The main problem with doughnuts is that there are never enough hot ones around. Oh, sure, if you happen across a Krispy Kreme during those fleeting moments when the HOT DOUGHNUTS NOW sign flickers to life, then you're in luck. Or you could try nuking a couple of Entenmann's. But if that just doesn't cut it, don't panic. It's nothing that $4,450 and a couple of Costco-sized bottles of soybean oil won't fix. Lil' Orbits has sold its doughnut machines to Arab sheikhs in the past, and competitor Belshaw Brothers has even sold units to Michael Jackson and the Pentagon, but both companies have noticed a few less-shrouded types snapping up their wares lately. Like Bob Kronrad, a Long Island businessman who bought a Lil' Orbits SS1200 to entertain family and friends in his basement home theater. Kronrad's 37-inch-long stainless-steel contraption spits out up to 1,200 piping-hot mini-doughnuts per hour. "Oh, they're delicious when they're hot. There's nothing like 'em," says Kronrad. A small steel vat robotically drops tiny rings of dough into boiling oil; a paddle wheel then pushes the oil (and the doughnut) onto a flipper, where it's automatically cooked on both sides. Kronrad shakes a bunch of the steaming orbs in a paper bag filled with cinnamon and sugar. Guests clamor. Children swoon. "They're really soft, and they go down easy," he coos, a la Homer Simpson. But when they're cold? "They're like lead buckets." Dough!

Lil' Orbits 800-228-8305; www.lilorbits.com Belshaw Brothers 800-578-2547; www.belshaw.com