(FORTUNE Magazine) – Dear Annie: Help! My boss is not human! In the four months since I joined this company, I have worked through lunch hours, far into the evenings, and on weekends. Apparently that is normal to her, and I found out recently that the last two people who had this job quit because of it. But I would still really like to leave the office once in a while (to see my kids before they're asleep, for one thing). Do you have any suggestions for how to deal with a workaholic boss? --Always on Call

Dear A.O.C.: I'm not going to belabor the obvious fact that, with unemployment having just hit a half-century high, your boss may be afraid to let up for even a moment lest she become another statistic. She probably figures that you already know all about the rising number of months it takes the average manager to find a new job and how some people might say that you should be happy to have one, regardless of how miserable it makes you, and so on. These are parlous times. So do you mind if I tell you a little story instead? Once upon a time in the 1980s, there was a Great Big Business Magazine run by a Very Nice Man who never wanted to go home. He was in the office at 7 A.M., at 9 P.M., at 11 P.M., and beyond, day after day after day, night after night after night. Every year in the week between Christmas and New Year's--although the entire Enchanted City was shut down (some years there were blizzards) and nary a deadline loomed--he would suddenly swoop down upon his underlings' mostly empty offices to see who was there. And who was not.

Okay, maybe I just like the word "swoop." My point is, there is nothing new or unusual about bosses who work too much and who want you to do likewise. You'll survive. There are, however, several schools of thought about how. At the Great Big Business Magazine, some people tried hard to work all the hours the Very Nice Man worked and they succeeded, but an ever-increasing number of those hours were spent in the Amazingly Friendly Bar downstairs, and (trust me) you don't want to end up there.

So you have three options: You can try to negotiate for saner hours. You can surrender, and give up all hope for an outside life. Or you can quit. Let's start with negotiation. "Part of this is just about firmness. Try setting limits and presenting your boss with choices," says Ben Dattner (www.dattnerconsulting.com), who teaches organizational psychology at New York University. "Establish a quid pro quo: 'If I stay until midnight tonight, I won't be in until 11 tomorrow.' Or ask, 'I can come in early or leave late, but not both. Which would you rather that I do?'" Sometimes humor helps--"Is it spring yet? I haven't been outside since February"--as does subtly reinforcing good behavior, Dattner says: "Thank her when she lets you leave at a reasonable hour and express disappointment when she doesn't. You might also try being specific about why you want to go home. Don't frame it as 'I'm sick of being at work,' but explain that your kids go to bed at nine and you would like to tuck them in now and then." If you haven't already done so, think hard about how to organize your work more efficiently and "focus on deliverables and results, not just hours at your desk," says Dattner. "If you know her well enough, you might also express concern for her well-being. She may be headed for a major case of burnout."

But be warned: It's possible that none of this will make much difference. "Realistically, you probably can't change your boss, so you have to ask yourself whether you want this job badly enough to tolerate the long hours," says Rosanne Badowski, who has worked nonstop as Jack Welch's executive assistant for 13 years and wrote a book called Managing Up: How to Forge an Effective Relationship With Those Above You (Currency/Doubleday, $24.95). In the foreword, Welch praises Badowski's "crazy, unrelenting zeal that makes [her] put the job first." Says she: "Yes, I work ridiculous hours, but if I didn't like it, I'd leave. It wouldn't be fair to expect him to change." Badowski suggests asking in future job interviews what schedule will be required of you. "Was your job misrepresented to you before you took it?" she wonders. "Next time try to get a clearer picture beforehand of what a typical day will be like."

Dear Annie: I'm a naturalized U.S. citizen who came to this country from India nearly 30 years ago. Yet in job interviews I am still asked, "Where are you from?" Isn't this question illegal? How should I respond? --Connecticut Yankee

Dear Yankee: Smile pleasantly and say, "Originally I'm from India, but I came to the U.S. three decades ago. Why do you ask?" The question is not illegal unless the interviewer plans to cut you out of the running because of your national origin, and while that may indeed sometimes be the case, try not to jump to conclusions. Often people ask out of harmless curiosity, or for a particular reason you couldn't possibly guess. I once met a Nigerian who told me that in an interview for a job he badly wanted, the hiring manager asked where he was from. He bristled and said something antagonistic like, "I don't think you're allowed to ask me that"--only to learn, in the subsequent conversation, that the interviewer was a former Peace Corps volunteer in Nigeria who, recognizing his accent, simply wanted to reminisce about the experience. My acquaintance didn't get the job. Now, when someone asks where he is from, he just answers the question.