(FORTUNE Magazine) – Dear Annie: My boss and I are friends and spend time together outside the office--we've even vacationed together with our families--but we keep our relationship strictly professional at work. The problem is that my colleagues believe I'm being favored, which is untrue. I love both the job and the friendship and am loath to give up either one, but the situation is stressful. What can I do? -- No Name Please

Dear No Name: I ran your question by Tim Gardner, who teaches human resources management at Brigham Young University's B-school. "Whether you realize it or not, you're undoubtedly getting some benefit from your relationship with the boss," he says--even if it's just, for instance, an offhand comment now and then about what a higher-up is thinking. You won't get anywhere trying to persuade your colleagues otherwise. "So you need to do a cost-benefit analysis," Gardner says. "Is their resentment really intolerable, or can you learn to ignore the petty sniping and get on with the work?" He strongly recommends the latter. Reams of academic research show that almost all bosses cultivate "in" and "out" groups. "It can be a strategy for managing, because you can demand more from someone who's a friend," he notes. "So right now, you are in the 'in' group, or you are an 'in' group of one. As long as nothing unethical is going on, relax and enjoy it." Worth a try, no?

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