(FORTUNE Magazine) – In late May, Donald Trump moved into the last Trump-free zone of American life--higher education--by launching Trump University, a $300-per-course online school that aims to "deliver the experience, knowledge, and wisdom of Donald Trump himself." FORTUNE took the liberty of helping Trump U. draw up its first class catalog. -- with James Aley and Grainger David

Trump University Course Guide 2005

DJT SCHOOL OF ENGINEERING

Working With Precious Metals

Examination of how to coat any substance, from the inside of an airplane to an entire apartment, with gold. No prerequisite understanding of the difference between gold and gold flake required, as there really is none.

Intro to Structural Engineering

Students will master the core ingredients of any building. Class starts with basics of moldings and fake crests and moves to plaster cherubs and gargoyles.

Building Materials: Hair

The ins and outs of working with the most powerful, least moveable object in the world: Donald Trump's hair. Each student will get one strand, from which he or she must construct workable skyscraper scaffolding.

TRUMP COLLEGE OF ARTS AND SCIENCES

Understanding the Superlative

This course focuses on the most powerful words in the English language, such as "best," "greatest," "most unbelievable, truly," and "in all honesty, the most fantastic." Students will leave with an understanding of when to use such superlatives--for instance, not just at the start of every sentence, but in the middle, and ideally at the end as well. Definitely the best and most useful English class offered at any university ever.

History of Manhattan Architecture

A comprehensive look at the buildings that have made Manhattan great, from Trump Tower to Trump World Tower. Taught in conjunction with the DJT School of Engineering class Structural Imperfections Inherent in Buildings Without the Name Trump.

The Semiotics of Success

Explores terms like "billionaire" and "self-made," and questions whether they actually need to correspond to what people think they mean.

National Wealth

Students will learn which countries have the greatest collection of businesspeople willing to put money behind a name that they know mostly from American reality TV and gossip pages.

SENIOR SEMINARS

Topics in Eastern European History

How the region grew into such a rich location for locating potential brides.

The Fifth Annual Mar-a-Lago Operations Research Lecture

The Tragedy of Restraint.

THE DONALD GRADUATE PROGRAM FOR BUSINESS AND FINANCE

Intro to Accounting: Smoke, Mirrors, and Other Financial Tools

Introduces students to the theoretical principles of obscurantism and the fiduciary arts. The first half of the semester will cover the rich history of shenaniganiana. The second half will consist of readings and discussions of texts in which we'll explore the plausible. Prerequisites: Intro to Taking Bankers Golfing and Gambling.

Advanced Accounting: Bankruptcy

Student grades will be restructured at end of semester.

Strategic Issues in Branding

Explores the dangers of brand dilution and why placement should be carefully evaluated. Students will practice saying Yes to things like dolls, fragrances, bottled water, magazines, and, of course, schools.