(MONEY Magazine) – This Christmas season, visions of silken negligees are dancing in women's heads. Although lingerie has always been a popular holiday gift, the especially luxurious garments available today make women desire it all the more. It goes without saying that men love how women look in it too. Said one perceptive wife as her husband urged her to try on her new, sensuous pink silk robe: ''Did you buy this for me, dear -- or for you?'' The word lingerie applies to a broad range of garments, from underwear such as bras and slips to sleepwear such as nightgowns and robes. The selection within each category is lavish because lingerie has become fashion, and retailers are promoting it as an essential part of a woman's wardrobe. A study commissioned in June 1986 by Woolite, a company that makes a detergent for ''delicates,'' found that 80% of the women it questioned considered beautiful lingerie ''one of the marks of a well-dressed woman.'' Manufacturers have responded by shifting dramatically from the sensible to the slinky. Sales of the new sexy looks now account for nearly one-third of the $5.5 billion industry, up from about 15% only three years ago. It's quite easy to spend $200 to $300 on one silken whisper of a negligee, but you can also find lacy little nothings for $60 to $80. Before you set forth on your satiny safari, however, you should know why women yearn to wear seductive and costly garments that few will ever see. To some extent, they are influenced by TV shows such as Dynasty, in which Joan Collins seems to sashay through boudoir scenes gowned for anything but a good night's sleep. Glamour is in, and wearing elegant lingerie is one way to feel more feminine. And feeling feminine is all right now. Says Betty Friedan, who launched the women's movement with The Feminine Mystique in 1963: ''Though the current obsession with expensive, frilly lingerie is the merchandising exploitation of a cliche, it is true that women are becoming free to express themselves as women.'' A woman's lust for lingerie is also related to her financial independence. Working women can afford to indulge themselves with sexy underthings. But don't let that stop you from buying them for her. To make the best choice, you need to consider the personal style of the recipient and the quality of the garment as it relates to its price. The more expensive the lingerie, the finer its fabric, lace and details should be, the more sophisticated its design and the more painstaking its workmanship. But beware: sometimes you are just paying for snob appeal. At one exclusive shop in Manhattan, which sells only imported wares, close inspection of a lacy $5,200 peignoir set revealed frayed taupe satin and seams that were coming apart. Said the salesclerk hastily: ''It's nothing our seamstress can't fix.'' Even if you have no intention of spending top dollar for beautiful lingerie, you should be discriminating no matter what you are prepared to pay. Use the same judgment you would if you were buying clothing for yourself. For example, natural fabrics, such as silk and cotton, tend to feel and look the best. But they are usually more expensive than synthetics, such as polyester and nylon, and harder to care for because they require hand-washing and ironing. If you are giving a present to a woman who travels a lot or has a new & baby, she may not be grateful for a silk negligee that has to be pampered when you could give her a well-made polyester. Many synthetics are quite beautiful, and thanks to new manufacturing processes that give the fabrics more density and a finer finish, polyesters in particular can mimic silk closely. If you choose a synthetic, hold it up next to expensive silk lingerie to make sure the trade-off in look and feel is acceptable. The synthetic should still have a satiny sheen and be soft and delicate to the touch. But whether you buy synthetic or satin, the seams should be stitched evenly and tightly with no threads hanging, and hems must be smooth. The borders of appliques should be carefully finished so that the design lies flat on the garment. Lace trim should be smooth so it does not scratch the wearer. Selecting good-quality lingerie is relatively easy when compared with choosing the specific lingerie that a woman will love -- especially if you are a first-time buyer. A good salesperson can provide valuable assistance in finding something that she will adore. If your salesperson is reluctant to help you find just the right match or doesn't seem knowledgeable about fabrics and styles, go to another shop. Alicia Benedetto, the manager of Victoria's Secret on Madison Avenue in New York City, one of a chain of lingerie boutiques, suggests to men that they try to get a fix on the woman's tastes and styles before they shop. What size dress does she wear? What are her colors -- the color of her bedroom, her eyes, her wardrobe? Is she a romantic, a secret siren or a tailored type? What is her figure like? Larger women may prefer fuller styles, for example. Which part of her body is she proudest of? Which is she self-conscious about? You want to find a garment that will accentuate the positive. Your shopping trip will take you through a dazzling array of possibilities. Some of the delectable highlights: -- Peignoir sets. The set consists of a nightgown with a matching wrap or coat. And yes, they are back in vogue. Actually, they never left. You can buy the pieces separately, but together they imbue the wearer with a certain movie star glamour. Natori's silvery white gown with sheer insets and plunging back costs $110; the wrap, $125. It's possible to spend less or much more. Jonquil, for example, makes an ivory peignoir set of lace-trimmed silk chiffon and silk charmeuse, a silk fabric with a shiny satin finish, which retails for $555. The nightgowns can be short or long, though the shorter length, reminiscent of the baby-doll look of the '50s and '60s, is more popular now. Wraps may be full- or hip-length, and either fasten around the waist or fall loose. A particularly graceful style is the cocoon, a hip-length jacket with unfitted dolman sleeves that billow from a wide opening at the armhole and taper at the wrist. -- Pajamas. Don't overlook them. If you think they are too comfy to be sexy, think again. Fernando Sanchez, who was the first fashion designer to devote himself to creating stylish lingerie, makes a simple but beautiful jacket and pants in gleaming ruby-, emerald-, or sapphire-colored silk that retails for around $250. ''Some women,'' he explains, ''like the more masculine look, with a bigger cut. It emphasizes their femininity.'' -- Robes. No, not frayed old flannels or those Michelin tire-man down-filled things. Picture instead more imaginative garments such as a Victoria's Secret tri-colored silk kimono for $115. Or, if you really want to hit the deluxe heights of luxe, try cashmere. Fernando Sanchez's pure-cashmere ankle-length cardigan in ivory or navy retails for $950. Mollie Parnis' Christmas red robe, at $375, is a cashmere and silk blend, lighter and softer than pure cashmere. -- Camisoles, teddies and chemises. These are, strictly speaking, garments designed to be worn under clothing. But they don't have to stay under cover. Camisoles, slinky undershirts worn to give a smooth line to the bosom, are also very popular as sleepwear and as tops with skirts or pants. It would be a shame to hide Paula Carbone's sleek and shimmery camisole in hot pink silk. It costs $70 and comes with a matching bikini. A fancier, more romantic version is Maidenform's pale pink polyester satin with lace trim and matching tap pants for $51. Teddies are one-piece garments that cover the same territory as camisoles and bottoms. Sometimes they are made of body-hugging stretch lace, or have built-in bra cups for support. Lore's silk teddy in peach or periwinkle trimmed in black lace with a very high cut leg retails for $135. Chemises are flirtatious nightshirts that fall just below the hip -- flattering and comfortable. Victoria's Secret mail-order catalogue, a separate entity from the retail outlet, sells lustrous silk chemises in teal, cranberry, black or white for $49. -- Bras. These are not ideal gifts, since their fit is usually best determined by the wearer. You might, however, take a chance on what promises to become a very hot item: a French bustier (pronounced boos-tyea). It is a bra with stays in it that extends nearly to the waist and looks especially provocative worn with a garter belt. Or consider a corselet, made popular by pop star Madonna, who sported them as outer garments on stage and off. A corselet extends over the hips and often has garters attached. Back in your prom- trotting days, it was known as a Merry Widow, and when you took your girl in your arms to dance, you could feel it under her strapless dress. At Bloomingdale's, you can buy a particularly extravagant -- and expensive -- ivory lace demi-cup bustier embroidered with iridescent sequins for $400, or a more modest -- in price, anyway -- black lace corselet with garters by Lejaby for $175.

Just remember to keep your wife or friend in mind when you are making your final selection. You are almost always safe with a nightgown. By contrast, not every women wants a corselet. Says Josie Natori of Natori: ''After all, no one needs lingerie. It should make her feel good.''