(MONEY Magazine) – Every movie buff knows Kevin Costner got his first break as the recently deceased Alex in The Big Chill, but here's a real trivia question: How much would the real funeral actually have cost? Answer: about $3,500 for a middle- class rite in the film's location of Beaufort, S.C. Funerals frequently cost about $5,000 today, but many exceed $10,000. No doubt about it, a funeral is one big, chilling expense that no one wants to think about, much less plan for or arrange. But sooner or later you almost certainly will plan a funeral. And most people arrange funerals at the worst possible time: on short notice, with little information and after someone close to them has died. Too often, in the interest of expedience, they make decisions that they may later regret. Clearly, researching funeral costs and choices for yourself or for a close friend or relative is utterly sensible. If only it weren't so creepy. But the alternative could be a funeral that isn't exactly what you want or that costs thousands of dollars more than you need to spend -- not an inconsiderable sum to survivors who may have just lost their wage earner. In fact, the fastest- growing area of the funeral business today is ''pre-need,'' which usually lets a person pay for his funeral years in advance -- often at a locked-in price. Roughly 25% of funerals today are paid this way. (Prefunding can be unwise and tricky, though, as the box on page 146 explains.) Shopping for the last ritual has become much easier since 1984, when the Federal Trade Commission issued what is known as the Funeral Rule. Now up for ! review, the rule requires a funeral home to provide customers with price information over the phone if requested and to supply written, itemized price lists as well as contracts noting the precise goods and services the purchaser selects. The Funeral Rule also prohibits funeral home staffers from making false statements, such as saying that embalming is always required (it isn't). At public hearings in Washington, D.C. in November, critics of the funeral industry argued for stricter FTC enforcement and suggested that the rule be broadened to cover cemeteries, crematories and pre-need contracts. The agency next year will decide how or if it will alter the rule. The FTC rule has successfully helped reform an industry that received a bad rap for years, most notably in Jessica Mitford's 1963 expose, The American Way of Death. Today, funeral home horror stories are no longer commonplace. Still, unscrupulous funeral directors and high-pressure salesmen do exist. So just as with any other significant business transaction, you need to be on your guard. The biggest boost for a consumer from the FTC rule is that you now can more easily tailor a funeral to your needs and budget. In the past, people usually had to buy funeral packages that might have included products and services they didn't want. Many funeral homes still sell packages, often for up to 15% less than the cost of buying each item separately. But now they let you choose between their versions of prix fixe and a la carte menus (see the price list below). So you can decide, for example, whether to hire a hearse or limousines. Whichever way you go, however, you will owe a substantial basic service fee of $350 to $1,700. When you plan a funeral for a friend or relative, start by cautiously deciding which funeral operator will coordinate it. The funeral director handles moving the body from the place of death to the funeral home, the body's disposition, funeral notices and arrangements for the ceremonies. If you are not familiar with any funeral homes -- because the deceased lived thousands of miles away, for example -- you can get a referral from a co-op known as a memorial society. You are best off with a funeral home that has been around for years. Michael Kubasak, owner of the Valley Funeral Home in Burbank, Calif., recommends asking what types of services are offered to survivors: ''If the home has grief-counseling or support groups, you are likely to be treated more sensitively by the funeral director,'' he says. A memorial society tends to cater to people who plan ahead. Think of it as the equivalent of a neighborhood food co-op. Members pay small one-time fees ($10 to $25) to join, and many societies have the ability to bargain with funeral homes for reduced rates. Some societies even help nonmembers plan funerals on short notice. The societies are especially useful for informal ceremonies. Several months before she died of cancer at age 44 last June, Jan Allison of Sandy, Ore. joined the Telophase Memorial Society and arranged for a cremation and wake upon her death. Says her twin sister, Jo: ''We'd always had big funerals in our family, and it was very hard on my sister and me. Jan didn't want to put me through all that.'' With the society's help, Jo threw a party at which 150 people celebrated her sister's memory. ''When Jan died, I felt in control,'' adds Jo. Don't meet with a funeral director until you have considered the general type of funeral that suits you best -- whether it will be a big blowout or something subdued. Most important, determine the form of disposition of the body. Here are the most common options, from the simplest to the grandest: Organ or body donation. Your decision may have been made for you if the deceased arranged to donate his organs or body to a medical school. Find out if he filled out a Uniform Donor Card. In many states such wishes are noted on the back of driver's licenses. Often a survivor can donate organs without prior instructions. For example, parents often make donations to hospitals for transplants when their children die. Be sure to understand, however, that the medical school might not be able to accept the donated body upon death if, for example, a communicable disease was present. So it's wise to make alternative arrangements just in case. For more information about donations, call the Living Bank (800-528-2971), a national registry.

Direct disposition. This type of arrangement appeals to people who don't want the fuss of organizing a fancy funeral. It takes the form of either direct cremation or immediate burial. The body is transferred by the funeral home directly from the place of death to the crematory or cemetery. Expenses are low because direct disposition avoids funeral directors' charges such as embalming and the use of facilities for viewing. Immediate burials, which typically use plain, softwood caskets, cost from $400 to $1,200 plus cemetery charges. Direct cremations run from $160 to $935. Cremation with a ceremony. The reduction of the body to ashes is growing more popular. Last year, about 15% of all deaths ended in cremation, up from roughly 8% in 1977. Some funeral directors say customers increasingly prefer cremations to funerals for their simplicity. Others say the high cost of land has made cemetery plots too expensive. A cremation even with a ceremony ($800 to $2,785) tends to be less expensive than a burial because there are usually no cemetery charges. It's handled by a crematory staff chosen by the funeral director. Costs can add up, however, if you demand the trappings of a traditional funeral such as a viewing in a rented casket before cremation (rental fee: $250 to $500). A body needn't be cremated in a casket. The container can be a simple, inexpensive cardboard box or even a canvas bag. You can choose an ash container as basic as a plastic urn (about $25). A more luxurious marble or bronze urn will run upwards of $300. Selecting the final home for the ashes requires yet another decision. The family can keep the urn, or the funeral director can put it in a columbarium, a building that holds urns. Cost: $150 to $8,000. Instead, the ashes can be buried in a cemetery or scattered at sea. Some people take an inventive approach. For example, a company called Trail's End in Fort Collins, Colo. will fly an airplane over the Rocky Mountains and scatter ashes there for $85 to $376. Burial with a ceremony. An earth burial with a traditional funeral is the way most Americans want to go. It can also be the most expensive option. For instance, a casket can easily turn a $2,000 funeral into one costing $10,000. Don't let a funeral director push a $14,000 top-of-the-line bronze casket on you if a $300 pine box is what you really want. A sensitive funeral director will help you find the most appropriate casket. Holly Zaun, 41, a St. Paul, Minn. teacher's aide, says that when her father died at age 56 in 1979, she went to the Adam Bradshaw Hauge Funeral Home and asked for ''the biggest and best casket.'' It was a large, $2,000 walnut model. Funeral director Bill Zenk told her gently that while she could do as she wished, she might prefer a smaller, less expensive casket. ''Dad had been ill for a long time and had grown frail,'' Holly recalls. ''Bill said that he would be lost in the choice I made. I took his suggestion and was glad I did.'' A burial needs a cemetery, of course. Before choosing one, find out whether the deceased purchased a cemetery plot in advance, as many people do. If not, ask the cemetery director what is covered by the plot's price -- which can range from $100 to $3,500. So-called perpetual care might not include upkeep for grave markers and monuments, for example. Either the cemetery or the funeral home will sell you one of a funeral's big-ticket items: the casket container, called an outer burial vault or grave liner. It is required by most cemeteries to prevent the ground from collapsing around the casket. Choices range from a concrete box for about $300 to a solid steel or copper vault that forms an airtight seal for $2,000 to $8,000. A box will be adequate, but if you are deeply concerned about deterioration of the casket, you can buy a metal vault. The burial services can be held at a chapel or funeral home, or the gravesite, or both. A closed-casket funeral without a viewing avoids the cost of embalming ($95 to $380) and the rental of the funeral home's facilities for the viewing ($45 to $260). Opting for a viewing is a personal decision. If you'd rather not have one, don't be coerced by a funeral director who encourages it, as many do, to ease the grieving process. Entombment. Instead of earth burial, some people opt for more regal entombments in cemetery mausoleums. These are aboveground buildings typically made of marble or stone; some are even walk-in structures. A mausoleum generally costs far more than a cemetery plot -- $1,500 to $25,000. Funeral costs don't end there, however. Clergy usually receive $25 to $250 to perform services. If you want music, prayer cards and flowers, they will be extra. Most funeral directors will take care of flowers and other incidentals. But they generally will require money for these ''cash advance'' expenses up front and might charge a small fee. Long-distance arrangements can double some funeral costs too. If you are handling a funeral for someone who died thousands of miles away, you probably will have to pay for the services of one funeral director there and another who will handle the arrangements locally. Figure on paying shipping, service and handling fees that total as much as $2,000. If a funeral director fails to perform his duties or springs undisclosed fees on you, call the Funeral Services Consumer Arbitration Program, or FSCAP, an arm of the National Funeral Directors Association (800-662-7666). You will get a hearing by an independent panel of consumer advocates, and if FSCAP decides in your favor, you'll get your money back.

BOX: A guide to funeral costs

In the price list below, cemetery charges include the price of burial vaults. You may have to pay extra for some services if ceremonies are held on weekends. Package plans don't include caskets.

ITEMIZED EXPENSES Price range Moving the remains to the funeral home $50 to $300 Funeral director's basic charge $350 to $1,700 Embalming $95 to $380 Body preparation $65 to $235 Refrigeration (per day) $45 to $125 Clothes $35 to $100 Coordination of funeral service $95 to $360 Visitation room $45 to $260 Chapel $95 to $200 Clergy $25 to $250 Music $15 to $100 Flowers $10 to $200 Utility or lead car $50 to $100 Hearse $95 to $125 Limousine $95 to $125 Motorcycle escorts $75 to $135 Casket $200 to $25,000 Total cemetery charges $900 to $10,750 TOTAL COST $2,340 to $40,445+

ALTERNATIVES

Typical funeral-package plan $750 to $2,000 Expensive funeral-package plan $2,000 to $4,000 Funeral home direct cremation $340 to $935 Funeral home immediate burial $425 to $1,230 Memorial society direct cremation $160 to $530 Memorial society immediate burial $400 to $875

BOX: At a Glance Pre-need: Who needs it?

One of these days, you may get a letter or a call from a funeral home strongly recommending that you sign up for what's called a pre-need plan. This form of financing lets you pay for your funeral in advance and often offers inflation protection by freezing the cost of your funeral at today's prices. The typical price is about $4,000 plus cemetery fees. There are two basic types of plans: trusts and insurance policies. Typically, you fund a trust with a lump sum and the trust's principal and interest will pay for your funeral. Pre-need insurance is set up as a term life policy with premiums paid either all at once or in monthly or annual installments over as long as 20 years. Here, you name the funeral director as the beneficiary of the policy or assign the proceeds to him. In both types, the funeral director's fee is built in. Today, about 25% of funerals are paid with pre-need contracts, often through two big insurance programs: The Forethought Plan, offered by casketmaker Hillenbrand Industries, is available in more than 3,000 funeral homes. The Guardian Plan from SCI, the nation's largest funeral home operator, is sold through SCI's 450 homes and more than 800 independents. But are pre-need deals worthwhile? For some people, yes. For most people, no. You should consider buying one if you worry that money won't be available to pay for your funeral when the time comes. This may be a particular concern if you are single and have no friends or relatives nearby who could handle your funeral arrangements. Otherwise, pre-need contracts may not be a sensible use for your money. That's because you can probably earn more by investing and using the cash to pay your funeral expenses than letting the funeral director invest for you. ''I've never seen the value of a pre-need plan escalate faster than a certificate of deposit,'' says Paul Haussman, the former chairman of the National Funeral Directors Association's consumer arbitration panel. If a pre-need plan seems appropriate, be sure you get one that lets you lock in today's price for your funeral. Here are other essential buying tips:

PRE-NEED TRUSTS -- Insist that the trust will be held in a federally insured bank or savings institution. -- Make certain that all of your money will actually go into the trust. -- Ask what will happen if you change your mind. Most trusts have 30-day, money-back grace periods. If you want out after a month, you ought to be able to get your principal back within a few weeks. Some funeral directors will keep the interest the trust has earned, but you should look for a plan that will refund your interest too. -- Buy only a trust that will remain in force if you move, through a reciprocal agreement with funeral homes across the country. But be forewarned: ! Even under a reciprocal agreement, another funeral home may not be able to guarantee the exact merchandise and services you selected at precisely the same price. Your family may have to settle for substitutions or pay the difference.

PRE-NEED INSURANCE POLICIES -- Stick with policies offered by insurers deemed A or better by Best's, an independent rating company. Otherwise, you increase the risk that the insurer will fold and your prepayment funds will vanish. Your library should have a copy of Best's ratings. -- Ask the funeral director what will happen to your insurance policy if you die before all the payments are made. Usually, your survivors will be responsible for the difference. -- Be sure you will be able to transfer the policy to funeral homes in other cities if you move. -- Check the rules that apply if you change your mind about the policy after making payments. Generally, after a short grace period of 10 to 30 days, you will lose most of the money you have paid.

BOX: Checklist Before you go . . .

You can help your survivors handle some painful details if you make decisions now about the style you want to go in. Discuss your plans with your family. Then write your instructions in a formal letter and give copies to them. Include in the letter the following:

-- Whether or not you want extraordinary life-saving measures to be taken if you are on the verge of death. If you don't want life-support, get a lawyer to make your wishes binding. -- The type of disposition you prefer -- The type of ceremony you wish -- Any arrangements you have already begun, including plans to donate your body or organs to science and any funeral prepayments you have made -- The location of key papers such as your insurance policies and any materials relating to your Social Security or veterans' benefits