Temporary jobs; on-line investing tips; the Bushes' new house; car alarms TO GET TELEPHONE HELP FROM UNCLE SAM, TRY AND TRY AGAIN
By Echo Montgomery Garrett

(MONEY Magazine) – After a recent study by the General Accounting Office (GAO) showed that Social Security's toll-free hotline is less than a ringing success -- the GAO's calls went unanswered 56% of the time -- MONEY decided to check out all of the federal government's consumer "help lines." After all, taxpayers like you spend an estimated $175 million a year to support the 10 numbers listed in the table (at right) alone. You deserve your money's worth. So we called each of the toll-free numbers in the table between 20 and 100 times. Our conclusion: We were generally underwhelmed, although the Internal Revenue Service's number for ordering tax forms and publications was especially useful. Our advice: -- Be prepared to wait -- and wait. You will probably spend at least five minutes and as much as half an hour on hold in order to get your question answered. One of the few times we finally got through on the Social Security line -- designed to help you get an estimate of your future benefits, for example, or a replacement for a lost Social Security card -- a recording announced that we would be able to speak to one of the busy operators in approximately eight minutes. -- You may never get a human on the line. The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration's auto-safety hotline and the Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) product-recall number force you to navigate through a byzantine automated telephone answering system just to hear the recording you need. Miss an instruction? Tough luck. You have to start all over again. After wading through endless messages on the CPSC's automated system, we kept getting disconnected just before receiving the recall information we wanted about a Baby Bop backpack. A CPSC spokesman says the agency is "changing its system." -- You can't always get immediate answers to crucial questions, and sometimes you can't get answers at all. Medicare spokesman Duke Sybor told MONEY that "90% of our callers are sent a publication. The operators aren't going to sit there and talk to you about whether your grandfather's open-heart surgery will be covered." Usually, Sybor said, you'll get the promised booklet within five days, but if the publication is out of stock it could take "one or two months." We asked the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation phone rep whether a trust for a child would be insured separately if the parent/trustee had an account at the bank. The response: "We can't discuss trusts on the phone." As MONEY's March 1993 story "What Banks Don't Know Can Hurt You" noted, the FDIC isn't reliable even when it is willing to address your question; in that article, four out of eight experts at FDIC regional offices gave at least one wrong answer to five questions we posed. Here's how to get the most out of the toll-free numbers: -- Call midweek, about half an hour after the line opens. Never phone on a Monday -- the busiest day for the lines. -- When a voice on an automated system tells you how you can reach an operator, do so -- or at least jot down the instructions, in case you later decide you want to talk to someone. -- Ask to speak to a specialist when you have a technical question for the IRS, FDIC or Small Business Administration. That will at least give you a shot at getting a knowledgeable response.

BOX: NASD'S NOT-QUITE-IMPROVED LINE

After getting spanked by a prize-winning Los Angeles Times series, the National Association of Securities Dealers vowed to improve its toll-free line (800-289-9999). For one thing, it promised to inform callers about pending disciplinary actions against particular stockbrokers. But when we phoned, an NASD phone rep erroneously tried to charge us $30. A spokesman says that won't happen again; all NASD reports should be sent free if you identify yourself as a private investor.