(MONEY Magazine) – Q. My bank has a brokerage service, and one of the salesmen wants me to buy his funds with 5.75% sales loads. He says no-load funds cost just as much as load funds but hide their charges in management fees. He also adds that I could buy B shares in the load funds free of sales commissions if I keep the shares for seven years. Please comment on those points. Terry Scarlett MARCO ISLAND, FLA.

A. Shpbpbpblpbtfz! The spelling may be a little off, but that's a Bronx cheer for the salesman and his arguments. All funds charge annual management fees and other expenses usually amounting to about 0.5% to 1.75% of your investment. No-load funds don't hide these charges; they are required by law to break them out in the first few pages of the fund prospectus, just the way load funds do. But load funds charge a commission or "load" on top of these expenses, averaging 4.25%, to pay the brokers and brokerages selling the funds. As for the B shares, it's true that you won't owe the 5.75% load if you hold the fund seven years. But that's a long time to lock up your money, and B shares have expense ratios that are about 0.75% higher than A shares. Even if you stick with the fund until the fee disappears, your total expenses may exceed what you would have paid for a front-load fund.

Personally, I think brokers can't give objective advice about mutual funds when one fund is paying them and another isn't. Still, some people want a broker's guidance, and I have nothing against that. But the advice should be a whole lot less slanted than the misleading pitch you got.

Q. On Nov. 5, 1995, I accidentally struck and killed a deer with my 1994 Town & Country minivan, wrecking the hood. When my dealer and a number of others I called did not have a replacement hood in stock and had no idea when they'd get one, I phoned the Chrysler hotline. The rep suggested that if I bought a new van, Chrysler would give me a cash rebate as a way of helping an unhappy customer. After I found a suitable van, a hotline person told me buying it would not affect Chrysler's decision about the rebate. So on Dec. 29, I traded in my old van and shelled out an additional $6,000 for a new one. Now, despite repeated calls to the hotline, I cannot get a yes or no answer on the rebate. Have I been ripped off? Joseph DelMedico BROOKEVILLE, MD.

A. My opinion: yes--but you helped. Your van was less than a year old and one of the most popular models on the road today. So Chrysler dealers should have had parts in stock. Since you didn't know when you'd be driving your old car again, the hotline rep was able to encourage you to buy a new car and tempt you with a discount. Now we come to your mistake. Agreeing to buy without getting official approval of the rebate in writing destroyed any leverage you had with the company. Sure enough, the Chrysler manager who okays rebates told us that he had rejected yours soon after you bought the new van. Your dealer claims he passed the bad news on to a salesman who apparently didn't have the courtesy to tell you. Unfortunately, there's nothing you can do now.

But shame on you, Chrysler, for giving a customer such miserable service!

Q. I moved to the U.S. from Europe 10 months ago. I have an excellent credit record overseas and still have a Visa and MasterCard issued through European banks. But U.S. banks will not give me credit. I have no credit history here, and they have made little effort to check my records abroad. My wife, an American citizen, has credit. I want it too. What can I do? Nigel WorrallVACAVILLE, CALIF.

A. Unfortunately for you, there are no giant TRWs or other credit reporting behemoths abroad to supply standardized and comprehensive credit information easily and cheaply. So it's hard for banks to check your history. Here's what to do: Apply for a credit card jointly with your wife. The payment history will be reported under both your names. Pay all your bills promptly for six months, and you should be able to get a card in your own name.

If you're not a sensitive, New Age guy who wants to share his card with his spouse, apply for a secured credit card instead. In exchange for keeping between $300 and $5,000 on deposit in a bank, you'll get a Visa or MasterCard with a credit limit equal to or sometimes a little above the balance. After 18 months, you'll be re-evaluated and possibly qualify for an unsecured card so you can run up charges just like Americans do.

Q. Over the past few years, I've bought about $20,000 worth of colored gemstones from Equity Estate Galleries in Montreal. Last year I called Equity and sold one stone at a substantial profit, trading it with some cash for a more valuable gem. Recently, however, I asked a jeweler to appraise one of the other stones, and he said that it was worth much less than I paid. Can you shed any light on this discrepancy? Name withheld by request MILWAUKEE

A. Before I explain how anything works, please repeat after me: There is no investment market in gemstones. Jewelers are the biggest buyers of gems, and they generally expect to purchase them wholesale from reliable suppliers. Nevertheless, some Canadian companies promote gem investment to consumers despite the best efforts of the U.S. Federal Trade Commission, the U.S. Department of Justice and the Royal Canadian Mounted Police to shut them down. The companies have a variety of sales pitches. For example, the salesman calls back six months after you bought a stone and says that your investment has appreciated. He lets you trade in the stone for a bigger, supposedly more valuable one--if you just write another check.

Robert Friedman, an assistant director in the Bureau of Consumer Protection at the FTC, says: "The federal government has received at least 100 complaints over the years on many Canadian companies selling gemstones as investments, one of them being Equity Estates." However, to my knowledge, no legal action has been taken against Equity Estate Galleries. I called the company in Montreal; it took three weeks and multiple phone calls before I got a response. The company told Money it has a 14-day unconditional money-back guarantee for its gems. If you believe you have a legitimate beef, call the National Fraud Information Center at 800-876-7060 to register a complaint. The Royal Canadian Mounted Police in Montreal (514-939-8304) would also like to hear from anyone who thinks he has been scammed. My advice: Sell the stones for what you can get, or turn them into jewelry for the ones you love.

Q. I am 26 and plan to stay at home, while my husband works, until our two children are grown some 20 years from now. Please give me some advice about the financial risks that my family of four faces as a result of this decision. Angela M. Penzkover APPLETON, WIS.

A. Here's my philosophy: To assure your financial survival, you must live as though you will be single someday--as a growing number of married women are likely to be. The responsible homemaker, therefore, should pay less attention to decorating like Martha Stewart and more to minding the family's finances like Yoko Ono. Sit down with your husband, and learn everything you can about his income, his insurance, his retirement plans, his investments, property and debts. Be sure he shows you where all the critical papers are kept.

You should also strive for some financial independence. Work part time when you can, to build up your own Social Security benefit and so that you can open your own Individual Retirement Account. Although you will not be able to deduct your contributions if your husband has a retirement plan at work and your joint adjusted gross income is more than $50,000, your savings will accumulate tax deferred until withdrawal. For now, set up a nondeductible spousal IRA that allows you both to divide $2,250 a year between two accounts with no more than $2,000 in any one person's name. (Obviously, I think you should get the major share.) Finally, borrow or buy What Every Woman Should Know About Her Husband's Money by Shelby White (Random House, $12). You'll thank me later.

Reporter associate: Barbara Solomon