(MONEY Magazine) – Beset by scandal, the New York Stock Exchange is under pressure to alter or abandon its "use of humans to trade stocks on the floor of the exchange," as the Wall Street Journal put it. The NYSE could adopt Nasdaq-style electronic trading. Here are some better ideas. --DAVID FUTRELLE

REPLACEMENT FOR HUMAN TRADERS PROS CONS

ZOMBIES Tireless and efficient Limitless hunger for servants to their human flesh, brains overlords

KITTENS Energetic, extremely Easily distracted by cute balls of yarn, fluff, other kittens

MONKEYS Surprisingly effective Tendency to fling feces stock pickers. Could do well as traders

BLOCKS OF WOOD Incorruptible Inanimate