(MONEY Magazine) – At age 99, Sophie Blake is fiercely protective of two things: her recipe for boilo--a Lithuanian firewater made of whiskey, honey, oranges, lemons, cinnamon and cloves--and her independence. Fifteen years ago, she resisted the idea of moving in with her daughter and son-in-law, Florence and Jacob Zansitis, now 81 and 84. And last April, when her granddaughter Carol Kurilko, 57, found a house closer to her and her husband Nick for the three of them, Sophie again protested. Still able to climb the stairs of Florence and Jacob's two-story Cape Cod, she said she'd rather move into her own apartment than share a smaller house. Even Florence and Jacob "moped about," says Carol.

But Carol won over her parents and grandmother. With the $198,000 the family got for the Cape Cod, Carol and Nick bought a three-bedroom, one-bathroom ranch down the road from their house for $167,000 and spent $6,000 on renovations, doing much of the work themselves on weekends. This fall Jacob began using a wheelchair, so Nick, a contractor, built a ramp. But so far Florence has held off hiring help. Together, Sophie, Florence and Jacob collect $2,500 a month in Social Security and $900 in pensions. But with monthly prescription-drug bills totaling $750, the $267 a month that an aide would cost for four hours a week was more than Florence was willing to spend. Instead, Carol, a nurse, drops by on her way to and from her job at a local doctor's office. "They still have happy hour every night," she says, "so it's a good place to stop on my way home."

There are times when it's overwhelming, admits Carol, and she would love to see more of her new grandson Calvin, who lives 2 1/2 hours away. But her daughter Kristine, 31, understands. "It's a responsibility," says Carol, "but we wouldn't have it any other way." Fortunately, Sophie has shared her recipe for boilo with Kristine. If history repeats itself, she may need it. --AMY WILSON