NEW YORK (CNN/Money) - Here's as good a reason as any to curb what you spend at the holidays: Your kids, bright bulbs though they are, will probably forget most of the stuff you buy them.

No, really. Think back. How many holiday presents do you remember getting between the ages of 0 and 18? I can now remember all of two.

Not that you shouldn't indulge your kids, especially since half the fun will be yours. But overindulging them is a pointless exercise in money-burning, especially if you go into debt to do it. Not to mention the fact that doing so can have other unpleasant consequences for you and your child long-term.

The truth is you don't need to spend like mad to have a holly jolly. "The holiday is not just about store-bought gifts," said Betsy Taylor, president of the Center for a New American Dream, an organization that, among other things, looks at the effects of commercialism on children.

It's also about creating memories, the kind that actually last. More than gifts, I remember getting a tree with my father every year and decorating it with my mother...or the excitement I felt when my siblings came home from college for the holidays and baked chocolate chip cookies late at night.

So to help you fight that urge to get "just one more thing" and to fend off the guilt or defeat you might feel in the face of the advertising onslaught that is Christmas in America these days, a few tips:

Santa wears a cap and so can you. A spending cap, that is. "Setting limits is not about denial," Taylor said. "The parent is in control here. But the parent somehow feels they're not in control." The good news is your money is likely to go farther this season since retailers are offering big discounts. But that doesn't mean you should spend more than you meant to. Before you hit the malls, set a budget and stick to it, she said.

Don't just stand there. Do something. Okay, you're already doing 20 things at once. And the fact that you're not screaming yet is a testament to your amazing parental abilities. But you should spend time doing things as a family, suggested Taylor. Activities like ice skating and caroling are gifts like any other. And they may help squelch your kids' more material desires...at least a little. "Refocus your child's attention on doing, not on getting. By doing that you can change the conversation," she said.

Give your kids binoculars...onto the world. A little outside perspective also gives your offspring an appreciation for what they already have. Volunteer with your kids to serve food in a soup kitchen or to read to critically ill children, suggested Neale Godfrey, founder of the Children's Financial Network and author of "The Ultimate Kids' Money Book."

Offer candy canes of economic wisdom. It's been a tough year financially for the average working parent and it's okay to let your older kids (10 and up) know that. "Level with (them)," Godfrey said. Let them know, "It's not about how much we spend. It's about saying, 'I care.'" By the same token, she said, you might suggest that they give "gift chits" -- coupons for services they'll perform for people they love (for instance, helping Grandma weed her garden).

Everyone in the pool. It's also okay to tell your kids (the ones hip to the whole Santa thing anyway) how much you're going to spend on each of them, and let them make their wish list accordingly, Godfrey said. Or, she suggested, you might offer them the option of asking you to pool the money you were going to spend on them and buy one big gift that everyone wants (a DVD player, for example).

Tell the Joneses to put a lid on it. Gifts for your child's friends, and their gifts to your child, can create some awkward moments unless everyone's on the same page. One year Godfrey got her young son's friend a nice pair of mittens for the holidays. His parents, in turn, got Godfrey's son a complete stereo. Appalled, Godfrey insisted her son return the stereo and told the other family (and her son's school) that from now on gift exchanges between school friends should have a suggested $12 limit.

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She recommends asking the parents of your child's friends if they, too, think it's a good idea to cap what you spend on each other's kids. Setting such limits can go a long way toward lessening financial and social stress. Believe me, Godfrey said, "Everyone is going to feel relieved."

Jeanne Sahadi writes about personal finance for CNN/Money.com. She also appears regularly on CNNfn's "Your Money," which airs weeknights at 7 p.m. For comments on this column or suggestions for future ones, please e-mail her at everydaymoney@cnnmoney.com.