Jersey Shore stars' new reality: Unemployment

Claim to fame: His highly-defined abdominal muscles. Head-butting a wall. Creeping on "chicks."

Before the Shore: Then known as Michael Sorrentino, he actually had a fledgling career as a suit-wearing mortgage broker, until the real estate bubble burst. He was also a paid gym urchin and an underwear model.

Side projects: Paid appearances and endorsements, including Vitamin Water, Reebok and Devotion Vodka (not including Abercrombie & Fitch (ANF), which distanced itself from Sitch in a high-profile dis.) He's made a DVD: The Situation Workout and co-authored a book: Here's the Situation: A Guide to Creeping on Chicks, Avoiding Grenades, and Getting in Your GTL on the Jersey Shore.

He also sells Situation-branded sweat shirts, gym bags, caps and "bronzer spray" through his web site, with GTL-brand water bottles, workout bands and laundry bags. (For the uninitiated, GTL stands for the philosophical trifecta of meatheads: gym, tan, laundry.)

Post-Shore career prospects: Despite being the oldest cast member, he doesn't seem to have too many solid future prospects, besides trying to get his life together. He recently went through rehab for prescription drug addiction. Back in 2010 he talked about launching his own brand of cologne, called "The Sitch," but he hasn't made good on the threat.

How about it, Sitch? It's never too late to go back to posing in skivvies. (Well, actually, it might be.)

NEXT: Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi