101 Dumbest Moments in Business
Ah, what a dumb year it was! Fortune chose the absolutely dumbest of the dumb that the gods of fate and humor delivered into our laps - and yours - this past year.
| Rank | Dumb moment |
|---|---|
| 1 | China: That's the good news. The bad news is that 2008 is the Year of the Rat. |
| 2 | Eli Lilly: Thank God. We've been so worried since Lucky dyed his hair jet black and started listening to the Smiths. |
| 3 | Leona Helmsley: Don't laugh - if she were your master, you'd need a lifetime supply of Prozac too. |
| 4 | Merrill Lynch: Mission accomplished! |
| 5 | Stanley O'Neal: Payback is a bitch |
| 6 | Chuck Prince: Not so flush |
| 7 | High-tech toilets: Too bad nobody gave one of these to Chuck Prince |
| 8 | KFC/Taco Bell: Ooh, gross! |
| 9 | French newspaper Le Monde: Ooh-la-la, gross! |
| 10 | Electronic voting machines: Election officials in Florida promptly order 5,000 units |
| 11 | Oil spills: A touch of under-statement |
| 12 | Procter & Gamble: Deep doo-doo |
| 13 | Disneyland: It's a fat world, after all |
| 14 | Naked Sunday: Getting buff |
| 15 | Bindeez: But officer, it was the Toy of the Year! |
| 16 | Microsoft's PR firm: And the Patricia Dunn Pretexting Award goes to ... |
| 17 | Cocaine energy drink: Quite a blow |
| 18 | Royal Society for the Protection of Birds: There will always be an England |
| 19 | New Jersey Superior Court: What Lindsay Lohan will be driving in '08 |
| 20 | O.J. Simpson: Oh, that explains it |
| 21 | Cartoon Network: Right back atcha ... |
| 23 | Don Imus: Say what? |
| 24 | Chris Albrecht: What happens in Vegas... |
| 25 | Adam "Pacman" Jones: ...doesn't always stay in Vegas |
| 26 | Isiah Thomas: Guess she didn't want to play ball |
| 27 | Phil Spector: But aren't mullets making a comeback? |
| 28 | Keith Richards: I mean, since there wasn't any bloody ice on my bloody sidewalk ... |
| 29 | Swiss newspaper SonntagsZeitung: Faux de Cologne |
| 30 | James Cayne: Remarkably, he has yet to be weeded out |
| 31 | Bear Stearns analysts: We'll say this for Mr. Cayne: He clearly shares his primo stuff with the research department. |
| 32 | Jay-Z: Gimme some skin, dawg |
| 33 | Oral B: And we just thought our wives were really into oral hygiene |
| 34 | Summit Products: G-strings and sweaty bald men sold separately |
| 35 | Masterfoods: Who knew "M&Ms" stood for Meatloaf & Mutton? |
| 36 | Best Buy: Let the Best Buyer beware |
| 37 | Judge Roy Pearson: ... thus making our satisfaction complete |
| 38 | Google: Are you a moron? Click here now! |
| 39 | Damien Hirst: Oh, for the love of ... wait, you already said it yourself. |
| 40 | Comcast: Oh, Manny, you're soooooo handy |
| 41 | National Amusements: What could be worse than porn for impressionable young minds, you ask? |
| 42 | Pfizer: They had such high hopes |
| 43 | The Toronto Blue Jays: Child abuse: It's fan-tastic! |
| 44 | Bank of America: Another subprime stunt |
| 45 | Serendipity 3: We seriously mistrusted those sprinkles |
| 46 | Johnson & Johnson: And if those guys in Rome don't stop using our logo, we'll nail them too |
| 47 | John Mackey: He's also honest, humble, and nuttier than an organic fruitcake |
| 48 | The European Union: They don't call it the European Union for nothing |
| 49 | German screw factory: The red-light district in Amsterdam immediately closed |
| 50 | The Defense Department: Makes you wonder what it would cost to ship a million German screws |
| 51 | Apple: One, two, three, four, we'll sue you if you send us more |
| 52 | Swiss watchmaker Romain Jerome: And those Hindenburg gas grills are fantastic too |
| 53 | Japanese arm-wrestlers: Get a grip, Tinkerbell |
| 54 | Research in Motion: This is your brain on e-mail |
| 55 | Frank Gehry: Who left R2D2 alone with the AutoCAD and peppermint schnapps? |
| 56 | Chrysler: Which explains why Michael Vick bought himself a Nitro |
| 57 | Endemol Southern Star: Cultural sensitivity? We don't need no stinkin' cultural sensitivity. |
| 58 | Taco Bell: The cardboard shell and mysterious meatlike substance are intended as a lighthearted tribute to Mexico and its vibrant cultural heritage |
| 59 | Radiohead: Can't wait for the follow-up album, In Debt |
| 60 | John Griffin: Can't say he didn't warn you |
| 61 | Sony: Hey! That was Howard Stringer's goat! |
| 62 | Nepal Airlines: In related news, Sony plans to acquire Nepal Airlines |
| 63 | Sony: That beheaded goat on the altar was really uncalled-for |
| 64 | Spain's National Institute of Statistics: ... thus putting the term "inflation" in a whole new light |
| 65 | Verizon Wireless: Another PR department in the fetal position |
| 66 | Rhode Island Hospital: It's not as if they're doing brain surgery or anything |
| 67 | McDonald's: In fact, many of our employees go on to be McBrain Surgeons |
| 68 | Thomas the Tank Engine: Sir Topham Hatt was very cross indeed |
| 69 | Exelon Nuclear: Good job. You're fired. |
| 70 | Circuit City: Good job. You're all fired. |
| 71 | TCF Bank: Take Cash Freely? Totally Clueless Fiduciary? Two Crime Friday? |
| 72 | Paris Hilton: Tort reform: That's hot |
| 73 | Easy-Bake Ovens: Hilton quickly files suit against all 278 kids |
| 74 | Google: Kidding. We kid. That's what friends do, right? |
| 75 | Mummified corpses: The real estate market must be dead over there too |
| 76 | Jessica Simpson: ... and cardboard boxes ... and the color red ... and, come to think of it, Pizza Hut |
| 77 | Jackson Hewitt: What, you never heard of a barber who makes house calls? |
| 78 | The Virginia Tourism Corp.: Virginia is for bangers |
| 79 | Hugo Chávez: Granted, I flunked econ ... |
| 80 | Juan Carlos: ... but I aced international diplomacy! |
| 81 | 365 Main: Fate's here to see you, and she brought her wire cutters |
| 82 | One Laptop Per Child: On the bright side, they're learning a lot about anatomy |
| 83 | CIBC analyst Meredith Whitney: Her husband, on the other hand, is more than a little freaked out by the downstream effects of the subprime crisis on the world's capital markets |
| 84 | Southwest Airlines: Fly the not-so friendly skies |
| 85 | Singapore Airlines: Fly the don't-get-too-friendly skies |
| 86 | Saudi Prince Alwaleed bin-Talal: Fly the I'll-join-the-mile-high-club-if-I-damn-well-please skies |
| 87 | SkyWest Airlines: Fly the smells-like-the-back-row-of-a-Greyhound skies |
| 88 | Doug Parker: Fly the well-at-least-he-didn't-have-to-use-an-air-sickness-bag skies |
| 89 | British Airways: Fly the petty skies |
| 90 | Southwest Airlines, Part 2: Fly the didn't-you-learn-anything-from-the-Kyla-Ebbert-fiasco skies |
| 91 | Iberia Airlines: Fly the someone-in-the-marketing-department-is-out-of-his-freakin'-mind skies |
| 92 | Jet Blue: Fly the nope-we're-still-not-flying skies |
| 93 | British Airways Part 2: Fly the oh-gross-oh-gross-oh-gross-get-it-away-from-me skies |
| 94 | World Toilet Association: Funny, that's what Larry Craig calls stall No. 2 at the Minneapolis airport |
| 95 | Kitson boutique: Hand wash with like colors in dishwater |
| 96 | WikiScanner: All the vitriol that's fit to print |
| 97 | Blogger: What comes up first when you Google "screwup"? |
| 98 | Intel: Just pop in your Birth of a Nation DVD, and you're off and running ... |
| 99 | Century 21: Her grandfather made a killing in the stock market back in '29 |
| 100 | D.R. Horton: Apparently he missed the memo from Bev |
| 101 | Maria Bartiromo: What, no action figure? |