Come out and play
Stanley Bing introduces readers to StanleyBing.com, the new online home of all things Bing.
(Fortune Magazine) -- This is an invitation. That's right, I'm talking to you, wherever you are sitting right now munching on something, or slurping something, or standing between two lightly scented people on public transportation, or lying in bed beginning to doze at the end of the day. You, reader. I'm inviting you to the opening of a cool new thing that I hope will never close. You can even drink if you want, as long as you bring your own.
You're going to like this place. It's colorful, it has a lot of neat locations to hang around in, and it's a place where people will listen to what you say and probably respond. It can be reached from anywhere in the world, as long as you have a computer. If you don't, by the way, I suggest you get one. The only people who can get by without Chip these days are forest rangers and really big moguls.
Anyhow, you are invited to get online immediately and go to stanleybing.com. That's the place. It's designed with you in mind. Okay, you can't be a little penguin and buy an igloo and sunglasses, or purchase a private virtual island, or download naked pictures of the hottest CEOs. Not yet. (Note to self: Look into that.)
There's a lot of stuff you can do, though. And like any venue where professional and social activities mix, it will be an empty room with one hand clapping, a tree falling in a forest, if you are not there to fill it up, make some noise, irritate the host. You don't even have to be dressed.
You can read my new blog and tell me what you think. In my first posting I promised, among other things, to provide links to important and intellectually stimulating Web material, to video, and to reading material that might be of value to the thinking businessperson. I then embedded a link to a dancing chicken. I think that says a lot.
My posting was then immediately commented upon by some guy named Paul in Philadelphia, who told me I should probably quit, for reasons that were unclear to me. I valued his opinion, though, in the sense that it made me angry for the rest of the day and it took two large Scotches after work to wash it away. You, too, can have that kind of power.
You can also take part in fun contests that are thinly veiled invitations to vent your disappointment, rage, and confusion. For instance, our first such discourse invites you to submit your cubicle as an example of something - smallest, most opulent, most depressing, whatever. Personally, I have always been fascinated with cubicles, since I define freedom in the workplace as "having a door." But maybe you love your homey little space. Let us know. Send us a picture. You can do that now. Maybe we'll give a prize or something. Breakfast at Tiffany's? Lunch at Applebee's?
But wait! There's more! You may ask me a direct question, which I will answer, about strategies, management, or workplace life. For instance, my first interlocutor has a problem with a co-worker who needs to clean up his act, literally. As in, he stinks. I'm sure you've worked with one of these. Interestingly, such people are very often loomers (who lean over you every chance they get) or close-talkers (who get up in your face so that you can see the spinach in their teeth). I have an answer to the problem, I think. Go take a look. If you have a better one, tell me.
There will also be live discussions, perhaps one day even with a video component. Imagine! A huge international conference call with all of us trading meaningless observations! Sounds like my corporation, only a lot less scary!
This brings us to the drawing board, where plans are now in development for the BingCam, a digital video feed that will capture the effluvia of my own existence and lend hope to the hopeless in some way that has yet to be defined. The idea is protean at this point, but the technology is there and the concept is very 21st century - to capture that in which there is no inherent value or interest. I believe that most of the stuff on the BingCam will be plotless, inane and without significant content. At its best, it could be just like YouTube.
It's a lonely world out there for those of us who must wear collared shirts and pleated skirts every day. I hope stanleybing.com will be one warm, inviting place where you and I can say what we want, hang out, learn things, be a part of a community of like-minded wage slaves.
In short, be there or be square. Or in our case, probably both, right?
Stanley Bing's new book, "Crazy Bosses" (Collins), is available at finer bookstores everywhere. He can be reached at email@example.com.