Ask Bing: My boss is a self-centered jerk

My boss is completely uncompassionate! He doesn't care about me or my family. He only cares about himself and whether I am here to do his work for him. I need more flexibility and personal time off to be happy. How do I ask for what I want and actually succeed with this self-centered ass?

You have to dare to displease this guy. Narcissistic bullies are like little babies. They don't see you as a person. They see you as a solution to their needs. Come in at 8 AM. Work hard until 6 PM. That's a 10 hour day. Nobody should be able to ask for more. If you have a school play one evening, you tell him, "I'm going to be leaving a little early to see my son Fritz's Third Grade play. He's playing the part of Malvolio." He will grumble. You will go. You will have set a precedent.

Thus, over time, some parameters will be established for your hours and your personal life. If he persistently gives you trouble, and he will, you continue to say, "Larry, I work hard. I'm here ten hours a day, sometimes only nine, but never just eight. I love working for you and I love the company, but until I'm making $20 million a year and am therefore compensated to destroy my personal life, I'm going to think it's possible to work for Acme and for you without ending up a divorced loser in a flophouse with nothing but a bottle and a TV to keep me company." Put it in your own words, of course.

And keep maintaining a rational schedule that allows you to be a human being. If he continues over the course of, like, a year to make you miserable, you must either go to Human Resources (never a safe course of action, but sometimes advisable) or start looking for a place that respects family in action as well as rhetoric. They do exist.

I am in between positions and looking for a full time job. However, I have been hired as a consultant with one of the technology firms in Silicon Valley. It has been about 5 weeks, and company has not shown any interest in paying me for the time spent on the project. In fact, my project manager has sent me an email saying "...I thought you did not want to be paid..."

My project manager knows I am in between jobs. What should be my recourse to this situation? Should I ask for money before sending any more info to this project manager OR be an optimistic guy and keep working with the hope that he is nice enough to authorize my pay?

Nah, I just don't think so. I have this total peeve... people being shined on for work and then not paid for it. A few years ago, I was involved in working up some comedy routines for a local Public Television station. They had us in. No food. Maybe some coffee. A bunch of people around a table, making up promotional stuff. It went over several days. There were people there from the station, taking notes, laughing it up.

Afterwards, I saw some of the stuff on the air in those little interstitial clips they play between shows sometimes. We never got paid. We never got a chance to do the work on the clips. They just took our stuff and ran with it. I still remember. Phooey on those people.

A friend of mine works at a magazine in Los Angeles. She has done a number of pieces for the place, big pieces that have already been published. They keep telling her the check is in the mail and stuff like that. Sure, she got good exposure from the publication of her pieces. But she should also have been paid, like, three months ago. I don't really care what their excuses are. They were certainly on-the-spot when they were demanding her copy for publication! I have a feeling that in some cases it might be best to speed up the mail by going down there with a crowbar.

In your case, it's important for you to know that your supervisor in this case is a creepazoid. Who doesn't need to be paid for working, particularly if you're between jobs!? Here is what I would do: I would give him no more work. I would tell him that you will exchange pay for what you have done already (I have a feeling it's considerable) for a glowing recommendation, on paper, from him, and support from him if he is called by a prospective employer. Then get out of there!

You should be out looking for a real job, not a seat on a slave ship. You're wasting valuable time between jobs that could be spent hunting for the right place or just enjoying the sunshine while you can. Don't be a patsy.