Ask Bing: Am I trapped at 45?

I could use your insight -- I rode the telecom wave on the technical side, going from grunt to seasoned analyst with plum assignments, huddles with executives and regular travel to some cool places. I even made it to the adminisphere, but only briefly as that particular outfit folded not long after I arrived. Then the rest of the sector caved and it was every man for himself to the lifeboats, for any job available.

Now although I make good money, I'm a dreaded cube-dweller. I've got plenty of skills, experience and knowledge and am certain I could do the job of at least a director, but telecom ain't a happening place right now either as an industry or my particular company.

My question is, being in my mid-40's with my first kid about to start college, do I have to just hang my head and take it or are there options for jumpstarting things that don't require me to go back to college or take a huge pay cut?

And please don't tell me to work my network or contact headhunters -- much of the network is in a similar state and the headhunters I've dealt with are nuts. Signed, Hoping Thoreau Wasn't Right About The Desperation Thing...

He was right for some people. I find, after a long time in business, that rather than do what Henry David suggested, and lead a life of "quiet desperation," I will lead a life of noisy desperation. It's more fun. And not quite so desperate.

That said, I feel for you. You had hope and beans and now you're stuffed into a Dilbert job with little chance of advancement in a challenged industry. What you may not know, my friend, is the your middle 40s are the best time to ramp up, think about alternatives, chart a course for the rest of your business career.

True players don't even hit stride until they are 50. You've got a world of time, not for the low-level schweck that you don't want -- you're almost too old for that -- but if you're 45, smart, clean and not too atrocious to the eye, you have every chance, given the resume you have outlined, to make a step up. So at the risk of sounding like Dr. Phil here... Go For It. Do NOT sit there whining and puling about your sorry status, get out there and hit the street.

Keep your job. Make your money. You need to, of course. But start reaching out NOW. You have no time to lose, certainly, but you do have enough time to make a difference for yourself. What you need is the kind of stupid, reckless ambition that used to make you think you were going to conquer the world.

That's what gives young people their leg up on more mature folk. They're not smarter. They're not more able. They don't even have more energy, in fact a lot of the time it seems they have less. They're just too callow and inexperienced to have felt self-doubt, defeat and spiritual exhaustion. Get rid of those three downers and you'll be amazed at how young you feel, and how many doors open for you.

We loved our customers, enjoyed challenges, and delivered solid results in a competitive high-tech business for the last two years as a team. It takes a lot of effort to turn a sinking ship around. Unfortunately, we never appreciated our chief until he was gone.

Personally, I've learned so much from him as a role model. I am thinking about to moving on too, but feel really bad about leaving our customers behind. They truly believe in us. Thanks.

Your note was very moving. It is true that many of us don't appreciate the guys we work for until we lose them. I look back on the bosses who I've worked for, and while I was generally pissed off a lot of the time, there really isn't one I don't look back upon with some pleasure.

Okay, maybe there was one. Back in the 80s, I worked for a guy who used to sit me down every morning and tell me how much he liked Hitler as a leader although, you know, he did agree that Hitler went overboard on some things. That wasn't too much fun.

Then there was this other dude who never came out from behind his closed door unless it was for a meeting with senior management, when he sucked up to our bosses with work I had provided. But for the most part, I remember my bosses with affection and was sorry when they were given the hose to suck on.

I have an idea. Why don't we all pause, take a deep breath and appreciate the people who sign our paychecks for a moment. Okay, that's enough of that. Let's move on!

I have a very nice coworker who does not speak much English but is always smiling and ready to help out the team. My problem is that he drinks tea at least twice a day and slurps very loudly in about 5 second increments.

I have tried to just ignore the sound, but it drives me (and at least two of my other coworkers) crazy. I don't want to come off as mean, but I am not sure how to make it stop without embarrassing him or coming off as nasty (that is, if I can convey the idea of "slurping" to him, as I doubt he is familiar with the English word). Any ideas on how to get him to stop slurping his tea without being mean about it?

Actually, no. I never had a slurpage problem. Does anybody else feel as bothered about the slurping? I had a boss once who ate soup at his desk every lunchtime. He sounded like a wildebeest at a watering hole. Nobody ever talked to him. What would we say, "Hey, Bill, you sound like a wildebeest?" I don't think so.

On the other hand, you might be doing this person a favor if you mentioned something gently, or suggested in a friendly way that people often tone down their tea noise when in social company. Why not have a cup of tea with him and ostentatiously sip very quietly? Perhaps he will get the message. Beyond that, you could just slurp with him. Maybe you'll start a trend.