Warning: Apple's Siri is the queen of sass.
Sure, Siri will help you find directions, play a song or set reminders for you.
But there's another, grittier side to Apple's (AAPL) virtual assistant.
Since Siri's 2010 debut, users have been discovering Siri's "Easter eggs" that the Apple engineers have hidden in the system.
If you press hard enough, Siri will read you a nice bedtime story. But in most cases, "she" will give you sass and shut you down.
Some ice for that burn, please
Ask Siri, what is zero divided by zero, and get ready to be called out for making no sense. But she doesn't stop there.
The screen shows the right answer. But if you listen to her, you'll see how she takes a math problem and turned it into a life crisis in a few sentences:
"Imagine that you have zero cookies, and you split them evenly among zero friends. How many cookies does each person get? See? It doesn't make sense. And Cookie Monster is sad that there are no cookies. And you are sad that you have no friends."
With every iOS update, a few of these surface. Here's a look down memory lane when Siri has been at her best:
Deflating egos since 2011
If you just need someone to be nice to you and reassure you when you're feeling less-than-confident, there are many people to turn to. Siri isn't one of them.
You can be as persistent as it gets but I think you're more likely to convince David Beckham or Angelina Jolie to love you back than persuade Siri.
Telling it like it is
Once you get over the fact that Siri said she slept through a Christopher Nolan movie, please appreciate her unabashed honesty.
Most people won't admit it but can you really think of a better way of describing Inception in a sentence?
Time keeper
Thanks, Siri.
The Animal Crisis
Siri not only doesn't care for the chicken crossing the road, she doesn't care for the chicken at all. And she doesn't understand why we do.
Trust a robot to make you question why humans question things.
Siri-ously surprising
Sometimes, Siri will put the insults on hold. Turns out the witty robot has a soft side too.
Okay, maybe we spoke too soon. Never mind.
But hey, since she was in the mood for jokes, We tried my luck with one:
Never again.
Apple conscious
For all her wit and humor at the cost of my self-worth, Siri is definitely not making our best friends list (not that she cares). But at least when it comes to her parent brand, she is the poster child of loyalty.
