I'm a minority and a Silicon Valley 'trade secret'

If you're a woman who hauls out any criticisms or complaints about how you're been treated, it feels like it can hurt your career.

I landed a job as a technical writer at Real Networks, where I wrote tech FAQs and wrote administrative manuals. Since then I've done contract work for several companies, including Microsoft and Motorola, writing about highly technical topics.

I serve as a different type of tester in a way, checking out bugs and using products so I can make suggestions. So I can tell you right now: When you want to sell products to the public, it's important to get as many different perspectives as possible.

The problem isn't really overt sexism; it's more insidious. It's a frame of mind. For example: I've been doing this type of work for almost 20 years, and I still have men telling me I'm not technical enough or that I don't understand their explanations. That's happened to so many women I know. Yes, I make the occasional error like anyone does, but men aren't being accused of not having the skills.

The most frustrating experience of my career came while I was a full-time employee at a company many years ago, and I told my boss I wanted to take advantage of tuition assistance to get my software engineering degree. My boss said no, that I'd already chosen my path in life. Other men were approved for the program. Needless to say, I didn't stay long at that group.

I'm happy to say that I do see a change in the younger generation, men coming up in their 20s. I think they see women as more equal to them technically, and that's great to see, because a lot of tech is about collaboration.

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