Readers to the rescue

When out to dinner with friends, what's the most polite way to get the heavier drinkers to pay proportionately more for their share of the check? --J., New York City

Our reader says: If my husband and I order wine when our companions drink iced tea, I'll skip dessert to even things out or pay the entire tip. If we dine with people who have two or three drinks to our one and never offer to pay more -- of course, we'd refuse -- we suggest future dinners at BYOBs. --Renee Margulies, Haverford, Pa.

The expert says: Ideally, the heavier drinkers in your group already know they've boosted the bill and will, of their own volition, just kick in more, says Lauren Bloom, the ethics expert. But if not, she says, your best approach is to make the first move.

When the check arrives, cheerfully offer cash for your fair share, including tax and a 15% to 20% tip. "Odds are good that the more extravagant diners in your party will take the hint," says Bloom, "and pay the right amount for what they've consumed." If they do ask you for more money, explain that you only brought enough cash to cover what you ordered. That should do it; if not, says Bloom, maybe you need new friends.

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