Readers to the rescue

By the time my son graduates from college, I'll be nearing retirement. I'm willing to pay for his BA but not grad school. Am I being selfish? --S., Birmingham, Ala.

Our reader says: I graduated from college in 1960, and was scared stiff to be on my own -- my parents had paid for everything. I would have needed their continued help for my master's. Dad told me kindly but firmly this was the end of the line. Being of a melodramatic mind, I went through the house pouting, "The freeloading is over. The freeloading is over." But today, at 72, I still thank him every day. I raised a family on a teacher's salary, and without that boot out of the nest, I would have been lost. I learned to budget. I learned to save. I learned, most importantly, I could do it. --Ellie McCullin, Surprise, Ariz.

The expert says: No, you're not being selfish, says financial planner Carrie Schwab-Pomerantz, president of the Charles Schwab Foundation. Saving for retirement should be your first priority.

By taking care of yourself now you may be helping your son later, because he will not need to assist you financially in your old age. But explain your decision to your son as soon as possible so that he knows what to expect and can plan accordingly.

NEXT: Family payback